Episode Report Card Keckler: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Mehdalus
By Keckler | Season 4 | Episode 10 | Aired on 01.13.2005
Stiff.
Silly.
To tears.
To death.
These are all the ways I was bored tonight. I mean, it's bad enough they ripped off a TOS storyline, but to rip it off from one of the dullest, most tedious episodes of all time? No wonder these writers were fired.
In his Ready Room, Quantum orders both T'Pol and Trip to offer Emery every assistance. Trip's incensed: "I kin't b'leeve I'm hearin' this! We've alreddy lost one man!" Quantum promises it won't happen again: "We'll alert the crew to the danger." "If they'd been alerted twenty-four hours ago, Burrows might be alive!" Trip announces. Quantum stares at him. I'll bet you don't even know who Burrows is, do you, you great big halfwit? With every highly justified concern and argument Trip and T'Pol have, Quantum gets more and more irritated and assholey. He finally spits out, "You have your orders, I suggest you get started!" I suggest you get stuffed. Trip and T'Pol leave, and Quantum stares out his WOTWW window with his ridiculous chest ridiculously puffed out like the ridiculous pompous shrike he is.
Trip and Emery do engineering stuff together. Emery sort of but not really apologizes in a way that allows Trip to announce that while he'd do anything to get his sister back, he wouldn't do it at the expense of others. Actually, it's pretty offensive here that Emery says he's regretful of the fact that Trip is no longer worshipping at the foot of his wheelchair. But, you know...meh.
In Quantum's room, Porthos whirrups hopefully as the doorbell rings. Quantum, who is NOT on the bed petting his darling dog, ushers Dani in. Dani goes immediately to Porthos and says, "Hey, you must be Porthos -- I've heard a lot about you." She must be reading the boards. Porthos immediately rolls over to get a bellyrub, but Dani doesn't exactly give it to him. Apparently, this is Porthos's Crying Game scene where we find out Porthos is not a boy, but a girl. Frankly, I can't tell either way. I know it's that there's a lack of something, but the way he's lying, you can't really see much of anything. I mean, it could easily be hidden in shadow, is all I'm saying. I really think it says something about a show when posters and recapper alike are avidly discussing the lack of a penis on a dog. "He's got a lotta personality," Dani smiles. "And an appetite to match," Quantum sneers. Shut up, Quantum -- at least he has a personality. Dani came to apologize. Even though they put Quantum in "dramatic" shadow in this scene, it doesn't hide his assiness as he postures and twitches importantly and furrows morally. Dani wonders aloud what it's like for her brother: "Is he in pain?" No, he's inside the Nexus. He's inside joy. Dani says that getting Quinn back is all she and her humpybacked father have thought about for fifteen years. Quantum hopes that they'll get Quinn back and that we can all get on with our lives.