Episode Report Card Gwen: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Busted
By Gwen | Season 5 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.22.2000
After Annie's walked away, Ruthie teases Simon about finding a girl desperate enough to date him. Simon actually argues with his nine-year-old sister instead of just ignoring her. He points out that Marcia's a spelling bee champion. Ruthie spells out "good luck." Simon pouts and runs away. Ruthie goes back into her room and re-blocks the door. Then RevCam bellows out her name and she has to open it again. He tells her she gets to pick the movie for Family Movie Night. "You know there's never gonna be another Family Movie Night again, don't you?" she says. She points out that there are "four daters" in the family, so the tradition is over. RevCam tells her to pick the movie. She says, "Got anything PG-13?" He reminds her that she's not thirteen. She says that with him and Annie there to explain the sex and violence, it'll be okay. RevCam says he'll pick the movie himself. Ruthie says, "Whatever. I've got a project for school. I'm out," and then shuts the door on her father's face.
RevCam tells Annie stuff about their kids. Lucy walks by and says that if her brothers aren't doing Family Movie Night, she isn't either. "Well, fine. Your father and I will watch a movie with no one around," says Annie. Eric agrees. They get all into it. "A little popcorn..." "A little wine..." Lucy says, "A little nauseous." Heh. She asks if she can have a friend over. RevCam asks if it's her "infamous husband, the father of [her] egg child." Lucy informs us that Lab Boy is history. She's ready to hook up with some guy named Mike whom she met in the counselor's office. He's going to help her fill out her college applications. She's says it's not an actual date and that there'll be no making out. She exits the hall. Annie asks Eric how many hours he gives Lucy before she's making out with Mike over the college brochures. Eric says the important thing is that it's college brochures they'll be locking lips over. He raves about the "Camden dominoes" being back in place, saying that one of their kids is bound to make enough money to take care of them in their old age. Dang, that's sad. I guess I'd better get to work on having more kids, though, just in case. Annie tells Eric that he'll never get old. They kiss, and he makes a suggestive comment about what will keep him young. Annie runs away with either glee or disgust.
Mary drives up to Frankie and Johnny's trailer and -- hold on. They live in a trailer? Damn. You know, Mr. Spelling, I didn't mind when you named Victoria Principal's character "Gwen" on Titans, but this is too much. However, Frankie and Johnny live in a tiny travel trailer with a built-on extension and wooden porch. Mine's a double wide, and we made our porch out of cement. So there. Frankie and Johnny had better not paint theirs robin's-egg blue, though, or there'll be hell to pay. Baby Mercy is squalling as Mary nears the door. Johnny's yelling, "Could you shut her up?" "I'm trying to clean this dump before Mary gets here! You think YOU could shut her up?" Frankie yells back. How charming. They remind me of a couple we used to hang out with sometimes, actually. They were teen parents, too, and they argued a lot. The wife had dropped out of high school to take care of their baby. The husband dropped out so he could write his own gaming program. I think he's making about a hundred thousand dollars a year now. Isn't that a beautiful story? Baby Mercy shuts up on her own. Johnny comes out and gives Mary a long, tight hug. That earns a punch on the shoulder from Frankie. What a jerkwad Johnny is.