Episode Report Card Gwen: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Busted
By Gwen | Season 5 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.22.2000
Throwing pillows onto their unmade bed, the CamRents button their shirts and exchange noisy kisses and "I love you"s. They decide to watch the rest of the movie, "otherwise someone will get suspicious." As they leave the bedroom, RevCam asks if the door was unlocked the whole time. "You always get so paranoid," says Annie, slapping his ass in a way I really don't need to see.
Ruthie's added a whole sentence to her diary entry. It now says, "Dear Diary, I can't believe what I saw [something]. I saw Mom and Dad [...]" What? Kissing Santa Claus? Ruthie's smirking her face off as she writes. She hasn't yet learned the jaded recapper's gaze, I suppose.
Back at the trailer, Frankie and Mary dry the dishes while Johnny catches up with his television. Mercy makes a noise offstage. "Is that the baby?" asks Frankie. Johnny doesn't know. Frankie asks him to check. "You're up. You check," he says. Mary checks. Frankie hits Johnny with her dish towel and tells him to grow up. She says she doesn't ask him to do that much. "You don't ask me to do that much?" he carps. "You asked me to marry you, didn't ya?" Girls, there's your 7th Heaven lesson for the day: You can trap a man into marriage, but you can't make him sweet. Johnny leaves, slamming the door behind him. Mary saw it all, of course. Frankie's embarrassed and sad. Mary offers to leave, but Frankie begs her to stay. She pulls a big old joint out of her stash box. "Is that pot?" Mary asks. No, Mary. It's a just hand-rolled cigarette, like the ones your grandfather used to make out of sassafras leaves. "Yeah. I just need it to mellow out. This motherhood-and-wife gig really sucks," Frankie answers. We get a big close-up of Mary's face as she goes, "Gulp!"
After the commercials, Frankie cries a little and says, "It just seems so unfair. You make one mistake, you know...?" Yes, that's right. You make one mistake with your birth control, and you can get pregnant. Y'all know that, right? I don't have to tell you that, do I? "Yeah, I made a big mistake, too," says Mary. "I got arrested for trashing the school gym last year." Thanks for bringing it back to what really matters, Mary. Frankie smiles with surprise and then assumes that Mary doesn't drink or do drugs because of her probation. Mary corrects her, saying that it's more because she already feels out of control as it is. Frankie comments on the difficulty of mere existence and her lack of motivation. Mary gets all optimistic, saying that they can go to college together and help each other. Frankie's too out of it to look at the brochures now. "Maybe some other time," Mary says morosely, getting up to leave. "Hey, don't say it like that. Don't give up on me," Frankie tells her. "I need a friend." Mary needs a friend, too. Frankie says that they'll apply to college the next day. She says that Johnny's not such a bad guy. He wanted to get an English Lit degree and become a writer. (Oh, really?) Mary says that they all have plenty of time to become what they want. The baby starts crying offstage. Frankie says, "Whatever I'm gonna be doesn't change what I already am -- a mom." She leaves Mary to see herself out.