Episode Report Card Djb: B- | 1 USERS: D YOU GRADE IT Untitled
By Djb | Season 4 | Episode 12 | Aired on 09.11.2004
Ruth "So I Married An Axe Murderer" Sibley and her husband George "Gimme Bomb Shelter" Sibley sleep soundly inside a dream sequence so big it could have a malfunctioning elevator installed inside. Dawn...well, dawns outside the window, and a shot of the window is soon to give way to a blinding flash of light followed by a cataclysmic explosion. George and Ruth sit up in bed with a start, Ruth's hair billowing down around her Dream Sequentially, as she screams, "We have to find out what happened!" George climbs out of bed and Ruth immediately tells him to put on his slippers and mind the glass, because even in George's paranoid fever dreams she's the queen of the harpies. He stands up and navigates his way around the dream sequence room, taking care to note that houses don't have to maintain any architectural integrity during a dream, which bolsters a commonly held theory that The Brady Bunch took place entirely in a dream sequence. While an air raid siren blares, George ventures outside into a post-Holocaustal hellscape. He takes off his glasses, because when earth is a smoldering pile of cinders, best to blur the edges of reality and not be able to tell your optometrist "E-F-P-T-O-Z" on command. From behind him, he hears a female voice ask, "George?" He turns around to see, through clouds of scorch and asbestos, a woman in a blue dress, and asks her, "What did you do?" Avoiding the obvious answer -- "What someone should have done to Los Angeles a long time ago" -- for fear of lapsing into a George Carlin routine from 1979 (and nobody reads and everything is made with cilantro!), the woman in blue responds only by saying his name again: "George." Say it loud and there's music playing. Say it soft and the George in question will be all, "What? Can you say that again? WHA?" because no one has been named George since the Hoover Administration and...well, they're all losing their hearing because they're old, is what I'm trying to say. Just as she begins walking out of the shadows, Ruth's voice replaces the woman in blue's, because that was a dream sequence and now she's waking him up. "George?" she asked, her hair tied back in The Sane Bun Of Earth's Mundane Continuance. He wakes up with a non-start, informing her, "I'm awake." She informs him, "You were whimpering and paddling with your feet." He was whatting with his feet? "What were you dreaming about?" The swimming section of the Presidential Fitness Test. "I don't remember." Old Georges also forget things a lot. Like telling the truth, for example.