Episode Report Card Djb: B- | 1 USERS: D YOU GRADE IT Untitled
By Djb | Season 4 | Episode 12 | Aired on 09.11.2004
Speaking of a predilection that sways away from the truth and also speaking of a penchant for spending one's best time horizontally, Rico "The Short And Short Of It" Diaz lies in bed staring at the ceiling, his finely cultivated nine-day accumulation of stubble almost visible just below the skin. He lies motionless for a moment, and is soon utterly unmoved by a screeching alarm set on the most annoying sound possible (that isn't "accidentally setting it on a radio station that wakes you up playing Hoobastank"). He reaches over and turns the alarm off, and we see him in Claire's old bedroom, where he lives now. If it's supposed to be empty and desolate in order to underscore his life without his wife and children, I say wah wah, because the décor is still kind of nice, and it's easier to watch TV in bed when you're alone anyway.
Claire "Less Artsy, More Fartsy" Fisher sits in her WB Product Placement Corner (a funky desk with stickers, a steel desk lamp, and an iMac that looks like it was used for researching the Interweb during the third season of Buffy, making calls about her upcoming art show. "Call me if you do need directions." "Bring cool people." "[Stage direction: While taking a sharp hit off a conveniently placed bowl, for an effing change."] All in quick-cut, jolt-y, she's-not- the-only-one- desperate-to-prove- how-artsy-she-is camera jumps. She even leaves Edie a message in an attempt to prove the smoke-and-mirrors contention that they didn't totally boot Mena Suvari from this show the second the forums told her they had to.
Amidst the subtle serenade of Alan Ball's favorite song -- "Please Recognize My Insanely Cool Indie Cred Vis-À-Vis The Song Playing Right Now," by, like, Death Cab For Average Face But Great Personality -- Anita rematerializes, carrying a garbage bag that I'm surprised she hasn't just labeled "emotional baggage" with masking tape and used as the centerpiece in some ambiguous new "show." Anita throws the bag down, reminding Claire that she is not the only person who exists in the history of humanity, and informs her, "I broke up with Russell." Claire grapples for something resembling interest in another person, asking, "Why?" Are you kidding? Because it's Russell. And also because, after futilely trying to develop Anita's character all season (peppy new friend, potential art threat, dilettante third wheel, etc.), it was important for her to do something with some actual agency to remind us that she is an actual character on this show. Her other options were "eat a plate of worms," "blow up an amusement park," or "stage a hostile coup at the end of which she declares herself the Mayor of Jakarta," I think she's made a pretty sound decision. Anita responds that it's because Russell's "such a fucking victim." If that's really the single criterion for ending a relationship with another character on this show...well, let's just say I hope Rico's Bachelor Pad has about a thousand million billion extra rooms for the singles who are about to descend.