Episode Report Card 2 USERS: C YOU GRADE IT Nothing Was Fast as Lightning
By Alex Richmond | Season 5 | Episode 4 | Aired on 11.18.2001
Richard is moving into Cage's hidey-hole. He got an email with Cage's permission. He's installing a flat-screen TV and bringing in a case of vintage wine. Corretta and Nelle stand by, looking worried. But where could Cage be? Richard guesses he's in a spa with his "pec and glute suit." Corretta slams a bottle onto Richard's lap. He "inhabits John's hole."
Ray's on the stand, blabbering about a time in school when he read a paper, and a female student came up to him afterward and mentioned she couldn't take her eyes off his ass the whole time. The point of this is that it made him feel "devalued"; he realized that "people can become what they are in the eyes of others," so now he feels like an ass. The judge said that. Really. No, Ray uses what he learned in that pathetic moment -- that we have "power to undermine the esteem and demeanor of others" -- in trial, and especially on women. Which is what he tried to do to the plaintiff as they were opposing counsel on trial. The plaintiff's laywer takes the floor, and points out that Ray is admitting to harrassing her client. Sure. But the plaintiff "BELIEVED" that she wasn't smart, which is why she lost, and is why she's suing Ray now. Because she couldn't have just felt harrassed by Ray's inapropriate behavior. Oh, no.
Nighttime. Jenny's having wine at Ally's house, raving about how great Ray was, and how much sense he made, and how she's so attracted to him. Ally's tea kettle blows at the last of these admissions. Ally has on a great black shirt, monogrammed with an "A." For b-A-d h-A-ir. Anyway, Ally has to tell Jenny that she isn't insane for being hot for Glenn. Ally lies and says Jenny isn't out of her mind. Why would anyone date Ray? Because he can beat up other guys, Ally rationalizes. Are we the inferior gender, wonders Jenny? No, it's that "women are so far superior on the relationship field, and that men are a dumb sex," says Ally. Oh, no fucking comment. Ray is a "protector." I'd say "aggressor." But anyway, they make a list of Ray's positive traits: "smart, cute, and kind." They could do worse. They both look intrigued. I? Drink.
Vonda's singing something about a "thing called love." Are you ready? Nelle asks Richard whether they should look for John, since he's going through a crisis. Hence, "the ridicuous bodysuit." Corretta coughs, "Bitch!" Hee. Elaine and Nelle both shoot Corretta looks. Exqueeze me? Oh, nothing, you bitches. Nelle argues that this is a material gain for Richard (the hole). Richard says he'll check in on John at home tomorrow.