Episode Report Card Couch Baron: A | 425 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em!
By Couch Baron | Season 2 | Episode 12 | Aired on 2008.10.19
Pete checks in with Hildy, who eagerly tells him that he has an appointment with "Spence Chapin" on Thursday. Pete's confused, so Hildy happily clarifies that it's "the adoption agency," and sincerely wishes him good luck. Pete looks around warily before putting on the most fake, uncomfortable, and half-hearted smile you've ever seen. I think looking at it for too long might actually cause your soul to flee your body. Hildy, spectacularly failing to read the room, tells him that giving an abandoned child a home is such a "blessed" thing, and asks if he'd like her to get Trudy on the line. Pete declines that offer before running off to ring Roger for the name of his divorce lawyer.
A sophisticated older woman enters Bertram's office, and from the presence of a waiter and a catered meal, it seems she's expected, so this must be the sister we heard about last episode. Bertram asks "Alice" (as I said in the recaplet, nice one, show) if "Florence" is with her, whom he describes as her "companion," but if it's a close friendship, a Boston marriage, or something more than that is left ambiguous. Too bad Kurt's not in the episode to sniff out the situation. Bertram's chagrined to see that Alice has failed to remove her shoes, but she sniffs, "My stockings cost more than your carpeting." Not being a woman, I have to ask: Is that even possible? Bertram inquires if she's looked over the paperwork, and Alice confesses that she thinks the offer is quite generous. "I always say, it's the smartest thing I ever did, helping you out." One wonders if she phrases it quite as generously when he's not around. Bertram lets us know the terms of the offer -- "twenty-two-fifty per share per year for the next ten years" -- and Alice smiles. "To think that Mother thought you were a failure." Does this mean Pete will one day be running his own agency? Alice orders a drink, but it's merely a ploy to get the waiter out of the room so she can safely ask Bertram about the fact that he said on the phone that he was undecided. Not that I expect she's going to waste the vermouth once the guy returns. Bertram confesses that he made a promise (to the elder Sterling, I'm assuming) that he'd take care of Roger, but Alice scoffs and suggests Bertram let Roger have what he's always wanted: "To die in the arms of a twenty-year-old." Between the heart condition and the indubitably vigorous sex, she's surely on to something here. Alice calls Bertram on the real reason for his hesitation -- he doesn't want to retire. "And I hate to say this, Bertram, but you are old. Older than me! I can't even imagine what that must be like." It doesn't actually sound to me like she hates to say it, and Bertram's arch reply of "Charming" agrees with me. She softens a bit, though, as she says he's not well, and besides, it's not like he can't continue to do his job if that's what he wants. However, she makes reference to a place in Montana he apparently had built, fondly recalling how he drove the architect to distraction, and urging him to go visit his cattle. The idea of Bertram singing "Home On The Range" is one that's not going to leave my head any time soon. Bertram replies, "I do love them. But you can't trust the Brits." And this before Mad Cow Disease! By the way, Alice slugs her drink in one shot, which makes me think all's right with the world. "In The Hall Of The Mountain King" kicks up...