Episode Report Card Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Munchkins & Masochists
By Lady Lola | Season 3 | Episode 13 | Aired on 03.05.2009
Lemon walks into her office and finds Jamie Lynn eating baby food so her fetus will enjoy its lunch. Lemon informs JL that the baby can't actually taste food, just leech nutrients. JL vows to enact her message board vengeance on "Juno32" later. Jamie Lynn marvels at Lemon's babylessness. She admits that motherhood isn't where her life should be, but perhaps Lemon might want kids. Lemon controls herself not to pounce and start excising the child right now, and now all the cards are out on the table. Naturally, Jamie Lynn takes this as her cue not to offer Lemon her baby, but to instigate a sing-along. Lemon gamely joins along in that song for the ages "Cobweb of Rainbows."
Over in the studio, Kenneth lures Tracy to a surprise co-party. Jenna waits in the wings, reveling that Tracy's entrance has made her the headliner. She waits for the precise moment to take the stage. Except everything else possible in the world happens to prevent her from doing so, including, but not limited to, Frank announcing that he is leaving TGS for Columbia Law School and Cerie entering in Jenna's dress and excitedly telling everyone that she's scored tickets for everyone on the opening day of the new Yankee stadium. Not even Jenna's fake back brace can quell the din of cheering. Jenna does a little angry-two-year-old hop and stomps off the set, totally unnoticed.
Frank makes his way into Jack's office to announce his transition to a lawyer's life. They practice being lawyerly and hug it out.
Meanwhile, Tracy glumly assembles a Gouda Friend. Kenneth asks what's the matter. Tracy admits that, now he knows the warm happy feeling of having a birthday, it only makes the other 364 days of the year that much more empty. ("Who knows when February 24th will come around again?") And his unfulfilled birthday wish is malarkey! He and Daniel D. Gouda Man sulk off.
Jack and Frank's family enjoy their celebration dinner. Tuba-toting Broadway icon Patti LuPone is playing Frank's mom. Awesome. I wonder how many times she made the director stop because someone was taking cell phone pictures. Mama beamingly sends Frank to open more wine. The second Frank gets out of earshot, she drops the smile and stands up to give Jack a double-cheek bitch slap. So... not so happy about Columbia? Would've preferred Harvard, maybe? Jack defends himself, saying he sees some of himself in Frank since they both have abandonment issues with their fathers.
Mama asks Jack what he knows about Frank's father. She explains that all the Rossitano men were, in fact, lawyers... for the mob. And Frank's father didn't abandon Frank, he went into hiding, just like all the other Rossitanos who didn't get whacked. "You want me to paint you a picture?" she asks. "'Cause I did!" At this, she points to a portrait of a man gunned down in court, which shares certain aesthetic qualities with something painted by Johnny Graziosi in Mickey Blue Eyes. Art therapy, apparently. Jack apologizes. No matter, says Mama, Jack is going to clean the mess up one way or another.