Episode Report Card Megyn: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Bill Of Wrongs
By Megyn | Season 4 | Episode 3 | Aired on 07.25.2000
Cut to said ex-husband entering the room where Shirley sits, waiting for him. They greet each other with the uncomfortable frosty distance that only ex-spouses can summon up. She says, "Zeke, you're looking too skinny. That new wife not feedin' you?" Zeke replies with all the passion that an Eeyore can muster, "Patsy's a singer, she don't have time to cook." "A singer?" Shirley repeats brightly. Zeke stupidly replies, "She's a chanteuse." Shirley asks if she's pregnant yet, to which Zeke responds that she isn't and he isn't ready. Shirley: "She afraid what it might do to her figure? Gonna ruin that chanteusan [sic] career?" Then Shirley cuts to the chase. She begs Zeke to bury her body in an unmarked grave. She says with an uncharacteristic look of fear that she just wants to float in oblivion. Zeke tells her it's wrong. Shirley reminds him that in all the years they were married he never did anything she asked, and to please do this. He refuses. He says he forgives her. Shirley regards him with the cold stare a snake gets before it strikes. Incredulously, she says, "You forgive me? What makes you think I want your fuckin' forgiveness?" Zeke says it took him a lot of time, but finally, with the help of the reverend, he found forgiveness for her. Zeke looks like a bomb fixing to blow. Shirley drops a bomb of her own on him: "Zeke, I don't feel guilty. I did what I had to do and at least my balls were big enough." Then she says in an eerie matter-of-fact tone, "You and the chanteuse should just go ahead and have that child because when Katie died, she wasn't yours -- your father raped me. That child was his seed." D'oh! Zeke hauls off and hits her hard across the table, knocking her to the ground. While a guard rushes in to restrain Zeke, Shirley slowly spits out a bloody tooth and holds it up for Zeke to see, then says, "I'm gonna put this under my pillow tonight and wait for the tooth fairy to come." God, I love her! Anyway, the guard pulls Zeke out of the room.
Ryan is using Nikolai's cell phone to make a mysterious call. He says into the phone, "Yeah, I need it by Friday, I'm dead serious." Nikolai comes in to collect his fee. Ryan proposes that Nikolai stop charging him to use the phone so he won't turn him in for having a phone. Cut to Ryan in Murphy's office, trying to start trouble by bringing up Galino's death and pointing out to Murphy that Galino was only there a week and Ryan never saw him use drugs. Then we see Stanislofsky in Sister Pete's office, trying to paint Ryan as unstable. Like, duh! Ryan is unstable for sure, but he's damn cute. Then back to Ryan telling Adebesi that Nikolai had approached Ryan about making a move against Adebesi. Back to Nikolai telling Hoyt that he heard that Ryan knows they killed Galino. Stanislofsky wants to get rid of Ryan, but Hoyt says to wait, that they'll be "right back in lockdown if we pop Ryan now." Nikolai insists, causing Hoyt to snap, "All of the sudden you don't understand English? We wait!"
Cut to Ryan on the cell phone again saying "tomorrow is great," and then we see Ryan and Cyril in the shower getting ready to meet with Dr. Gloria and the parents of her dead husband. Ryan tells Cyril to wash behind his ears while Cyril spits water in the air. Cyril is wearing a shower cap and seems to be doing his best impression of a mentally challenged adult. Wait...I'm sorry, Scott Winters's acting actually sucks rocks. My mistake. He blah blahs to Ryan about how no one can see behind his ears so why should he wash them, and Ryan reminds him of the importance of being clean before meeting with the wife and parents of the nice man he killed for his brother. We go to the room where Gloria and the parents wait. Gloria is pacing around in a blue sweat suit while the parents discuss how anxious they are. Gloria crouches down between them and says in an almost hopeful voice, "We can still cancel, you know." The dad tells her he can't understand how she can still work there.