Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Believing The Strangest Things
By Jacob Clifton | Season 1 | Episode 7 | Aired on 05.07.1999
John suddenly notes that they're passing through a system that has a planet with water, and Pilot corrects him: "Not so much water as...bog." John says they can just use that, and everyone's completely weirded out: take Moya down to the surface? There are good things and bad things about being the new kid in school -- such as having ideas that nobody else would have, because they're scary or wrong or weird. "She can do that, right?" Twitch. "Right?" Aeryn's scared, but Zhaan is intrigued, and asks Pilot if it's possible. There's a subtlety to the way Pilot answers that young Leviathans often "play with a planet's gravity" and "see how close they can come." "There's a tale about an adult male who once touched down on a planet's surface, though ... no one knows if it's true or not." John twitches some more at the scary tone, and John -- because his is the only idea currently -- says that if she can't do it, they can all just stick their heads between their legs and kiss their asses goodbye. Which ooks everybody out, because: what does that mean, why would you do it, and how would that help? He just shrugs. "It's a saying."
There's a long scene with everybody in command as Moya heads down. I guess we left out the part where they talked her into it. Rygel freaks out because he's small and bounces, being made of rubber; Pilot's image bounces around in the clamshell, which is funny and adds to the chaos; everything is shaking; Zhaan still thinks she's the boss of me; the music is insane; D'Argo falls down. But guess what John and Aeryn are up to? It's an episode of Farscape, so I'm sure you already guessed that they found the one niche in the wall that's just a titch two small for grown adults, and have managed to get themselves tossed in there with her arms around his neck and his hands at her waist. I don't know how probable that is, because I don't know about all of Moya's crevices, but I do know that John and Aeryn have an eerie way of landing in one of them and getting smooshed together about twice a week. They land, lots of staring, John and Aeryn standing in their little niche as though they haven't noticed but simply just don't feel like stepping out of there. Both of these -- the not noticing and the not doing anything about it -- are also central parts of the ongoing grab-ass tableau. Maybe John can repress, just a little. Rygel notes that they are sinking in the mud. Credits.
Moya's actually sinking quite rapidly but eventually stops once they've almost completely submerged. John asks Rygel if he's okay, and Rygel emphatically -- at some point his voice stopped being quite so gruff and British and regal, and I missed that for a while -- and gruff-Brit-regals that he is not okay, because they are "In mud! Under the mud!" Aeryn notes that Hynerians are aquatic, not that we'll see it in the next 86 episodes, so what's the diff, and Rygel gets very pissy: "Aquatic. That's water, not mud. Mud is...mud! You can't breathe in it, you can't move in it. It holds you, it grabs you, it sucks you down. You want to know about mud? I know about mud!" John nods the hysterical poignancy of this little speech: "Guy knows mud." Among other things. Farts, feces, urine, exploding urine, uterine fluids, blood of all colors and various viscosities, explosive diarrhea, six different kinds of vomit, and assorted other goos, schmutzes and assorted nastiness. And when he's not literally dealing in these, his personality pretty much smells and behaves like them anyway, which is why he's tough to watch but essential to the show and the psychological makeup of the crew. And to this particular episode, actually. I hate him, but I don't blame him, so much as the fact that they filmed in Australia. Fart jokes are just funnier Down Under. D'Argo confirms that the beacon's now insulated, and Pilot tells the worried Zhaan that Moya is scared as hell.