Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Believing The Strangest Things
By Jacob Clifton | Season 1 | Episode 7 | Aired on 05.07.1999
Twitching John approaches a farmhouse with an intensely huge and vaguely crazy-looking satellite dish setup outside, which some weird music is all wow about. He goes into the barn of the farm, and quickly gets a good chlorium reading. He then notices that he's totally in a barn. Like a normal human barn on a normal Earth farm, and starts to wig. He picks up a lightbulb, which is like a normal Earth lightbulb except with a weird green filament instead of the normal kind. Temptation and refutation, which will keep him on his toes once he starts interacting with the people and the environment rather than just waving the analyzer around. D'Argo hits him on comm, and John and Aeryn both try to fill each other in at the same time, talking all over each other. It's funny and human, but I think it's also kind of telling that it's John and Aeryn that can't wait to fill in the gaps for each other. As John begs them to join him in the barn, because he's in over his head as usual, some scary feet come down a set of stairs and head toward the barn, hauling a bucket. As the owner of the alien feet comes closer, John finally drops his comm badge and hides behind some hay or something. Barrels.
The alien is, of course, a little boy who looks like Henry Thomas, but with freckled, Botox-looking alien cheeks and crazy elf ears. His name is Fostro and he lives here. "Who's there? Who are you and what are you doing around my Mom's stuff?" Seeing it's a kid, John stands and comes out, trying to be calming. "Don't be afraid. Ah, I'm not here to hurt you." Elliott asks where he's from, and John's like, "Um, out of town." The kid identifies him as an alien, and they trade names, but then the kid suddenly drops the bucket and runs off, I assume to grab some Reese's Pieces so they can do this shit right. John calls after him, but Elliott's all, "MOM!"
John follows Elliott into the house, the kitchen, and the kid grabs some kind of scary-looking weapon and points it at him. John realizes that he's been brandishing the analyzer, and apologizes, dropping it onto the table. It's scientific equipment, not a weapon, and the whole episode is about knowing the difference or getting stuck in the middle. Elliott's mom, Lyneea, comes toward the kitchen, talking. John approaches to introduce himself, and a very wary Elliott finally shoots him with the weapon thing. After some crazy Bojangles knee action, John goes down. Commercial.
"I can't move," John mumbles. Lyneea enters bitching: "Fostro, I am in the middle of what could be a very real extraterrestrial event. This is not the moment for you to...." She sees the pile of John and drops what she was carrying. She stares as John mushmouths some more. "Why can't I move. I can't feel my body!" Lyneea creeps closer, and the joy in her! "Oh my God!" John's less concerned with the very real extraterrestrial event that's going on and more confused about his general rubberiness issue: "John: All my bones are... I'm going to recover from this right? Completely! Right?!" It's hilarious. I wish Lyneea could see the humor here. Instead, she grabs the stunner and aims it at the John puddle. "Fostro, move back." John pulls himself weakly to hold the table leg and she tells him to stop moving. "Please," he begs, "I already told your boy, I'm not here to harm you." Elliott tells his mom that John's from space, and surmises that he arrived in "that thing" she was tracking last night. John introduces himself, and points at the sky with his thumb, confirming Elliott's guess. "I'm talking to an alien? You're an alien? And I'm talking to you? In my kitchen?" That's when I fell for Lyneea. John too, I think. Or at least he recognizes that gleam in her eye. She sends Elliott out to the car and is very high-pitched. John tries to calm her down by telling an ugly lie. "You don't think we came alone, do you? If we wanted to contact some government, some agency, we would have." He's grossed out at himself. "We chose you."