Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: A- | 5 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT A Proverbial Coin Toss
By Cindy McLennan | Season 3 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.10.2012
Hospital. Meredith returns to her office to find Vamparic waiting. He's there for Elena. Now that he's calling the shots at the Council, he has eyes and ears all over the place. He tells Meredith she's a little too good at her job, but only because she cheats. And with that, he takes her small stash of healing vampire blood and pours it out. It spills on the papers all over her desk. He also informs Mere that the Council is going to get the Medical Board to suspend her medical license, and that Mayor Lockwood and Sheriff Forbes are being relieved of their duties. He claims status as Elena's guardian and demands Mere release the girl to his custody. I'd go on about how she's an 18-year-old, and therefore probably not under his guardianship, but it doesn't matter. When Vamparic gets to Elena's room, she's already gone.
Matt, Tyler and Caroline see Elena home. The boys make sure no one is lurking in the closets while Caroline enforces doctor's orders and insists Elena rest on the couch. Given their relative strength, Caroline should be the one searching for things that go bump in the night while Matt should be playing doctor. Whatever. Care Bear offers Elena tea, vodka or a combo. Um, really kids, the booze is not the best idea. Elena isn't having muscle spasms. As far as you know, she has a concussion, and since that diagnosis comes from Mere, it should immediately be upgraded in your minds to subdural hematoma. And then there's her blood loss. Caroline, while you win at vampyrism and practically everything else, you fail at playing nurse. The girlfriends share a nice moment, then Caroline wanders off to booze up her severely injured friend. Once she's alone, Elena stares at the old photographs on the end table. There's one of her and her with Grayson and Miranda, and one of her alone, in her cheerleading uniform. We flash back to...
Sophomore Year, Mystic Falls High School, Exterior. Matt and Elena are holding hands. Bonnie plays the welcomed third wheel. Both girls are wearing their uniforms which is weird because all these flashbacks revolve around a single day -- the day the Gilbert parents died, and I'm pretty sure they died in May which is hardly football season. By school standards, it shouldn't even be basketball season. Do they cheer for spring soccer or something? I know. I know. It's just an excuse to reveal more flesh, and Dobrev and Graham surely are gorgeous. I'll stop being a killjoy.
Anyhow, Elena laughs as she tells her friends, "Caroline Forbes said my ponytail lacked juzz..." or juj, or possibly jush. I looked this stuff up on Urban Dictionary and it's not what Caroline was going for, lemme tell ya. She must have been going for a slang version of the peppy sense of juice. Editorial, feel free to weigh in here, or not. I am pretty sure you're all younger than I. [Note: No dice, but I did find these .gifs! -- Rachel.] The point is, we're back in the days in which life in Mystic Falls was awesome, and Caroline Forbes was a miserable, jealous, petty also-ran. These days, Caroline Forbes is awesome. It's life in Mystic Falls that is miserable. Pretty fair trade, says I. We're also back in the days when Bonnie is trying to convince everyone she's psychic, which is less impressive now because we know she's a powerful witch, but honestly, Elena wasn't even impressed back then. Bonnie has a bad feeling about the bonfire tonight. Elena says it doesn't matter. She can't go. Aunt Jenna is visiting, so the 'rents want a family night. Matt begs Elena to sneak out or something. He kisses her then says he has to leave to meet with All-Trades Tanner. When Matt says he loves her, Elena just smiles. After he's gone, Bonnie calls Elena out on not saying it back. Elena tries to play dumb, but Bonnie won't let her, and says if she's not feeling it with Matt anymore, she can't string him along. She should just tell him. DO YOU GET THE PARALLEL?