Episode Report Card Cate: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Changes
By Cate | Season 6 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.23.2001
A commercial break is not nearly enough time to get over my feelings of ickiness. By the way, thanks to my new satellite service, not only can I tape each new episode of 7th Heaven at fifty-seven different times, but I can also get an in-depth weather forecast for Edmonton. I'm probably a little more excited about the Edmonton part.
Robbie calls up the Colonel in Buffalo, just to shoot the breeze. When the Colonel tells Robbie that he considers him part of the family, Robbie starts crying. Big mistake. You see, according to the Colonel, only "sissies" cry. Um, I really didn't need to hear that. I can't believe I ever liked the Colonel. If the writers want to improve the show, they need to bring back Grandma Ruth so that she and the Colonel can mock the rest of the Camdens. Now, that was funny. After the Colonel rudely hangs up on Robbie without even saying goodbye, Mary walks in to receive a special Colonel lecture of her own. She tells him she's not sure if college is her "goal" and says that she and Slack-Jaw are considering marriage. Although it's really none of his business, the Colonel approves the potential marriage, telling Mary, "You would be a good wife and mother, if that's what you decide you want." He does warn her that she needs a back-up plan, though, in case, "God forbid, something happens to Wilson." You mean, like choking on an insect that flew into his mouth? Like walking into an open manhole? Yes, precisely. The Colonel encourages Mary to pursue a career in public service. He informs her she has until the end of the week to get a job. Yes, sir.
Down at the pool hall, Simon and RevCam carry on a scintillating conversation about what classes Simon is taking this year. We learn that Simon wants to drop phys ed and take a music class instead. Regrettably, this gives RevCam an opportunity to talk about the skiffle band he had in high school. He threatens Simon, and us, with the possibility that he will drag out his reel-to-reel tapes and regale us with recordings of his skiffle band. He'd better not, because I'm sure that would make my VCR explode. Fortunately, Simon distracts Eric with a little speech about being a man. RevCam vows to start treating Simon like a man, but warns him to make sure he acts like a man, too. What's RevCam's definition of "acting like a man"? Well, in this case -- assuming that Eric thinks of himself as a man -- it involves bullying your son into canceling his dinner plans so that he will have to attend dinner with you, at your invitation. Then, when the food is already consumed and the cheque is on its way, you renege on the invitation part and ask the waiter for two cheques, putting the bulk of the meal on the cheque of the person you invited to dinner in the first place. Whew! Thank goodness I don't know any real men personally. Oh, and allow me, once again, to compliment Eric's fine parenting skills in teaching his son to completely disregard etiquette and any sense of fair play. Bravo, RevCam! Nice family values!
At least SuperMom has the good sense not to push Lucy into discussing her return to Glenoak. I think this may be an attempt to build suspense about whether or not Lucy will get married to Jeremy. That way, all three of the viewers who hadn't heard that Jeremy's guest-star stint was only a few episodes long might stay tuned until the end of the show, in the hope that Lucy will finally spill her guts.