Episode Report Card Cate: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Changes
By Cate | Season 6 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.23.2001
Over in Buffalo, the Colonel opens his front door to find Slack-Jaw. Poor Colonel. He was probably hoping it was someone only mildly annoying, like a Bible-slapper. Slack-Jaw and the Colonel immediately start bitching at each other for not controlling their little Mary well enough. I guess we're supposed to assume that the Colonel and Slack-Jaw have a lot in common, since they're both using the same exact words to yell at each other. I guess we're also supposed to find this humorous, but that's asking a little much of the viewers. When Slack-Jaw blames the Colonel for encouraging Mary to get a job in public service, the Colonel defends himself by saying, "I thought she'd get one at the post office. I didn't know she'd want to do something that required her to carry a gun." I don't understand. You mean a gun isn't a requirement if you work for the post office? It turns out Wilson is there because he wants the Colonel to talk Mary out of becoming a cop. The Colonel reveals his loathsomeness by asking, "Oh, is that how you plan to handle your wife? Just hand the problem over to her family and let them figure it out?" Of course, this is exactly how the CamRents handled the problem of their daughter, by handing her over to Eric's parents and letting them figure it out. Anyway, the Colonel's and Slack-Jaw's conversation is too repugnant to spend much more time wallowing in it.
All the macho posturing is interrupted by the arrival of the little lady in question, Mary. To further enhance the charming retro sexism of this scene, Mary is acting incredibly ditzy, even more so than usual. She's mad because she doesn't meet the age requirement to be a police officer. She tries to blame it on the police academy for not properly calculating her age upon graduation, but after the Colonel helpfully asks, "Didn't they tell you that to begin with?" Mary must admit that she screwed up the math herself. Silly girl! But I'm a girl too, and I can tell you that math is hard! Mary already has another plan to become "a fireman -- I mean, a firewoman -- a fire person, whatever!" Can't she just call them fire fighters, like everyone else in this millennium and hemisphere does? When Mary leaves the room, the Colonel asks, "Didn't she used to be smarter?" While I've never seen much evidence of it myself, I can't help but be offended at the timing of the comment. Quite frankly, all the characters come off pretty stupid in this scene, so I don't know why anyone's singling out Mary. I'm so mad right now that I take no nasty pleasure in hearing Slack-Jaw describe Mary as "sweet and kind and beautiful." Well, almost none. Slack-Jaw accepts the Colonel's assignment of making sure that Mary focuses on something "just for herself." Isn't it a little ironic that she needs someone else to do that for her? The only redeeming part of this scene is when the Colonel mentions Eric, and Wilson looks like he's struggling frantically to remember who Eric is.
Back in the CamKitchen, RevCam is helping to dry dishes while Annie tries to get him to leave her alone. She also warns him, "I may not want to be intimate as frequently as we have been in the past." Thanks for the TMI. At least she didn't use the phrase "adult relations." She and RevCam argue some more, but I missed most of it because I figured I'd have more fun plucking fur tufts off Mr. Sir Pet-A-Lot's butt.