Episode Report Card M. Giant: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT One-Term Wonder
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 23 | Aired on 05.21.2006
And we're back at 5:41:34. Aaron and Novick are disposing of Adams's body in the woods outside Not Camp David, and how nice to see that Novick has joined the Wayne Palmer philosophy of being the White House Chief of Staff. Novick's cell phone rings, and it's Kiefer, who says he's been looking for Aaron but hasn't been able to raise him on his cell phone. That's because the phone is in the Not Camp David mailroom, waiting to be FedExed to Washington. But in any case, Aaron tells Novick to put Kiefer on speakerphone, and tells Kiefer that Novick's in the club now. Aaron explains about his presumed-dead status, and Novick chimes in, "I'm still trying to process everything they told me. This is a real mess, Jack." Kiefer says he needs both baldies' help in bringing Logan to justice. Undaunted by the destruction of the recording, he says he's going to try to get a direct confession from the Prez, with the help of someone at CTU who's setting up a digital uplink. "If I can get Logan to acknowledge everything he's done today," Kiefer says, "it's going to be all the evidence we need." Novick starts to protest the idea of "physically coercing the President of the United States," but Kiefer cuts him off to say they have to do it now. After all of Logan's crimes, "He can't be allowed to remain in office. Not for one more day." Novick asks how long it'll be before Kiefer arrives at Not Camp David, and Kiefer says it'll be twenty minutes. Novick says it'll be too late, since Logan will be leaving for Washington by then. Kiefer insists that Novick try to stall Logan. Well, not having finished that speech he's supposed to be working on might help. Novick agrees, telling Kiefer to get there quickly. Who does he think he's talking to, anyway?
Up in Hayes and Buchanan's office, which they appear to be sharing now, Hayes has just gotten orders to report to Washington. So in addition to worrying about a president who has provided chemical weapons to terrorists, condoned the murder of innocent civilians, and was prepared to shoot down a civilian airliner to cover his own ass, now we also have to worry that the CTU bosses might get fired? Jeez, show, you really know how to pile it on. Chloe comes in, asking for workstation clearance for "some new personnel." Buchanan looks at the electronic clipboard Chloe's carrying, and then back at Chloe. "Morris?" he says incredulously. "You're bringing Morris back?" Chloe insists that this Morris person is the only one who can help her salvage the recording. Buchanan doesn't think Morris is even on the government payroll any more, and asks what Morris is doing now. "He's selling women's shoes in Beverly Hills." "Is this a joke?" Hayes asks in all seriousness. Chloe insists that Morris is the only one who can help her. Buchanan looks all kinds of doubtful, but he signs Chloe's clipboard. She snatches it back and darts out of there before he can change his mind. Hayes asks Buchanan who the hell they're talking about. "Morris O'Brian," Buchanan says. "Chloe's ex-husband." Aggle-aggle-aggle-aggle-GUH!?
And he sure got here fast. Down on the floor, a bald, bearded fireplug with a British accent is leaning over some brunette chick's keyboard, teaching her some technobabble or other, and getting a smile from her for his trouble. When he looks up, Chloe is standing on the other side of the desk. "Morris!" she snaps. "What are you doing?" Morris scampers over to her, babbling that he's making her people more efficient. As he scampers to Chloe's side, she remarks that he "picked the most attractive one." "Wrong," Morris insists. "You're the most attractive one." And in less than twenty seconds, we know all we need to know about Morris. I think that's a record, even for this show. Chloe hands him his clearance pass and tells him not to screw up this opportunity. He follows her to a workstation and asks for the recording he's supposed to restore. Chloe says dismissively, "Nothing, forget it, it's fried." She tells her confused ex that he needs some comm unit modification, and spews some specifications at him. "Can you do that without talking?" "I could," Morris says, his face creased with concern, "but it would be a terrible waste of my charm." Okay, anyone who can imagine a more terrible waste of charm than being married to Chloe, raise your hand. Thought so. She parks him in his chair, and tells him to call her when he's done. Before getting to work, Morris spares a nervous glance up at Buchanan's office. The boss is looking down at him suspiciously through the glass wall. Morris resists the temptation to wave up at him like a dork.