Episode Report Card M. Giant: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT One-Term Wonder
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 23 | Aired on 05.21.2006
As if to underscore how sad that statement really is, here's that team now. It's just Kiefer, Henderson, and an agent we've never seen before whose name is McCullough. So basically, the fate of the entire West Coast rests on two renegade ex-CTU agents and a guy who's going to get killed by the first round that's fired. This is why I live in the Midwest. Our guys are sneaking around among the giant crates and containers at the harbor, carefully staying out of sight of Bierko's single topside sentry. Over his earpiece, Kiefer whispers to CTU that he can see the sub, and it looks locked up tight. Imagine that. A submarine, locked up tight. That probably would have been a good idea earlier, don't you think? Absolutely everyone at CTU is in on this call, by the way, as if Kiefer's on speaker with the whole floor. Hayes reports that Chloe estimates they have less than twenty minutes, and Chloe adds that it might be even less than that. Audrey chimes in to say that the F-18s aren't going to make it in time, and Buchanan (who has found a spare tie somewhere and has it knotted neatly at his collar like it's eight o'clock the previous morning) adds that no CTU Tactical teams are in range on the ground either. Is that everyone? Anyone have anything else to add? New Girl Shari? Maybe Slime, on his way to the White House? No? Okay. Now that everyone's had a turn, Kiefer says it's up to the three of them at the port to take back the sub. Buchanan says that's not a practical option, and Audrey agrees. But Henderson -- who's also got an earpiece, apparently -- has noticed that a signal tube has been launched from the sub. Because someone has to, Chloe asks, "What's a signal tube?" As we get a clear look at the little white buoy floating next to the sub, Kiefer explains to Chloe and the viewing audience that a signal tube is an emergency distress beacon. In this case, it probably means that a crewman survived the Sentox attack, and is now ripe for Kiefer to exploit as a means of entry into the sub. He tells Chloe to start scanning emergency frequencies. While he's waiting, Henderson reminds Kiefer of their deal: "We stop Bierko, my wife and I disappear for good, with your help, right?" Kiefer grunts his assent, without looking at him. Henderson adds that he's not going up against the bad guy without a gun. That gets Kiefer's attention. "I'll cover you," he says in a "no fucking way" voice. Henderson says that's what worries him. By now, Chloe has tracked down the frequency upon which the trapped crewman is broadcasting his distress signal. Kiefer tells her to patch him through to his earpiece.
At 5:06:45, Kiefer hears the voice of Petty Officer Tim Rooney, who is sealed away somewhere in the bowels of the ship. Rooney's just a kid in a uniform, reporting that the ship is under attack. Yeah, tell them about it. Short-circuiting any number of Naval, international, and Defense Department protocols, Kiefer responds to Rooney's distress signal, identifying himself by name and as an agent of CTU Los Angeles. Rooney asks what's going on, even though he can see for himself on closed-circuit TV that all of his crewmates are dead and there are bad guys up in the control room fucking with the missile launch system. Kiefer explains that these are the terrorists who have been so busy today, and that the Navy is sending in fighter planes. "But I don't think they're going to get here in time," Kiefer laments. Not seeming to realize that this last bit is actually good news for him, Rooney asks what to do next. Kiefer asks if there were any other survivors among the crew, and a quick channel-surf tells Rooney he's the only one in a uniform who's still breathing. In answer to Kiefer's question, Rooney explains that he's in Auxiliary Engineering, a sealed compartment that he was able to shut down when things started redlining. And an area which doesn't get gas flushed through it, which is also lucky. Kiefer then asks if the bad guys are still wearing gas masks. Upon hearing that they're not, Kiefer concludes that the gas has been flushed out. "You should be able to move around freely." And by the same token, Kiefer should be twitching his last in a puddle of his own blood and lung-butter, but he obviously isn't. Before Rooney can take issue with Kiefer's plainly false statement, Kiefer tells him to hold on. He switches back over to Chloe, who tells him that the closest entry point on the sub to Rooney is the forward escape hatch. He switches back to Rooney, and ascertains that the only weapon the kid has access to is the knife blade on his utility tool. Kiefer tells Rooney that'll work, and that his task is to get to the forward escape hatch and let them in. "There's a man there guarding it," Rooney says after checking the security feed from that spot. "Then you're gonna have to kill him," Kiefer responds. Rooney balks. "I'm an engineer," he says. I'm not trained for that." Kiefer tells Rooney what the stakes are. After a miserable pause, Rooney reluctantly says, "I'll contact you when I get there." Kiefer copies.