Episode Report Card M. Giant: A- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Uranium? MY-ranium!
By M. Giant | Season 9 | Episode 9 | Aired on 02.22.2010
to the hallway where a uniformed guard is posted outside Medical. The guard politely raises a hand to stop Kiefer, but Kiefer just punches him in the throat, grabs his hand to press it against the palm reader for access to the room, and then knocks him out with an elbow to the face. That's pretty off-the-reservation even for him. Charging into the room, he tells Walker, "They're setting you up. Don't say another word." "It's too late," Walker says. Smith tries to throw Kiefer out. So Kiefer grabs her by the throat and pushes her against the wall, just like Kevin did to Dana and Vladimir did to Walker. I think that's all the editorializing I need to do on that subject. Getting so far into her face that his eyes cross, he spits at Smith, "How dare you? After everything she's sacrificed? After everything she's lost? Have you no decency?" Hey, you're the one choking a woman, Tough Guy. And then quoting Joseph Welch? We're through the looking-glass now. Walker calls Kiefer off and he pushes Smith away, saying this is over and grabbing Walker's hand to lead her out, because the women in this room are simply there for him to move and position at his whim. But when he opens the door, the guard is waiting outside, his gun in Kiefer's face. "Son, you better put that down or you're gonna get hurt," Kiefer says. Dude, you do not cockblock Kiefer. The guard doesn't lower the weapon, but he does take a couple of steps back. "Okay," Kiefer says with satisfaction, and Walker out ahead of him. But when he goes to follow, another guard tases him in the ass -- second time today! -- and handcuffs him while the first one secures Walker at gunpoint. She holds up her hands like she's being arrested for not resisting a pissed-off Kiefer. Which probably shouldn't be against the law. And getting back to Kiefer, how much more electricity is that dude going to absorb today? If this continues much longer his ions are all going to line up and he'll have superpowers or something. More superpowers, I mean.At the warehouse where Farhad is with Samir and his men (because let's face it, they stopped being Farhad's men a while ago), the rods are being removed from their case now. The same rods that would have killed Oleg just from getting too close, the same rods that they plan to scatter into fragments as a radiological weapon, and now there's nothing between them and the people who possess them but a couple of yards of empty air. And Bazhaev said what happened to Oleg was a result of him being "careless" with the rods? What did he do, lick them? Pull down his pants and sit on them? Use them as support poles to build a tent that he then slept in for a week? Farhad -- the very person Bazhaev told this to -- watches at 12:32:52 as a crane lifts them clear of the box. "Do you have what you need to turn the rods into a bomb?" he asks. Samir says they're working on it. "Must be difficult at such short notice," Farhad says, clearly fishing for clues that they've been planning this for a while. Samir says they have the explosives, but are still trying to get their hands on a detonator. Farhad says he knows someone who can help with that. It's just that Farhad needs to talk to him in private. So private that no one else can even be on Farhad's end of the call. Samir sends Ali to take Farhad to the office to use the phone there. Farhad and Ali walk off alone while everyone else redirects their attention to the rods, now being lowered back into containment. While walking away through the warehouse, Farhad asks Ali about the target. No answer from Ali. "So many targets in New York. It will be hard to choose," Farhad adds. Still nothing from Ali. So Farhad grabs a gigundous monkey wrench off a workbench he's passing and socks Ali in the gut with it. Clearly Farhad is a man not used to being ignored. Ali goes down and Farhad is about to follow up with a blow to the head when Ali sweeps his feet out from under him and he goes down hard. Farhad is still able to get in one more blow with the wrench before limping away. One of the other guys spots him heading for the exit and raises the alarm. While some of the men follow him, Samir orders Ali to find him at 12:35:03. How hard a chase will this be? Just follow the floppy hair and the smell of cheap Russian perfume.
12:39:22. Kiefer is led upstairs to Hastings's office. "Cuffs off," Hastings snaps. Kiefer is released, and Hastings tells the guards to leave and Kiefer to sit. "I'll stand," Kiefer growls, the better to enjoy his moral high ground. "So this is the new CTU?" he asks Hastings. "You hang your own?" Okay, first of all, Walker's not CTU, she's ex-FBI. Secondly, as I recall, there was a lot of own-hanging in the old CTU as well. Thirdly, Kiefer, who was that guy you just beat down outside Medical? A telemarketer? Hastings claims the questioning is standard procedure, which Kiefer doesn't buy since Chloe covered that already. "You've got some hack from Justice in there trying to initiate a criminal prosecution." He sees what Hastings is doing, and reminds him that he was there when Hastings asked Walker for help. Which is odd, because he wasn't. "She gave it to you. And we acquired the target. This is how you pay her back?" Kiefer threatens to call the White House, and Hastings tells him Rob Weiss is the one who sent Smith over in the first place. Kiefer says he meant President Taylor. They're besties, you know. Hastings wishes him luck on that. "I think the president takes murder pretty seriously," he says. "My recollection, she prosecuted her own daughter." That's an excellent point. But then, Taylor's daughter was also an asshole. "Now I'm not asking," Hastings says. "Sit down." Kiefer sits, but he makes sure we all know he's not happy about it. But maybe Walker will return the favor and come to drag him out by the hand.