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Kiefer gets Bazhaev to call Josef and convince him to bring the uranium in. But before Josef can do that, Farhad and his men shoot him dead and make off with the rods. No sooner has that happened than Rob Weiss calls Hastings to start setting up Walker as the scapegoat for the failed recovery operation, then sends over a Justice Department hard-ass to make it happen. She accuses Walker not only of murder, but of having engineered this whole thing to get back at Vladimir. Kiefer swoops in to try to save Walker, but only gets himself tased after taking part in the woman-choking party this season has become.
Meanwhile, Farhad finds himself losing control of his evil plot, as his henchmen pitch him an even eviler one: build a dirty bomb with the rods now that they can't get them out of the country. Farhad pretends to go along, but it's only so he can escape his own men. He even calls CTU for help, but with Cole temporarily out of the picture (more on that in a minute) and Kiefer in disfavor, the operation to recover Farhad and the rods seems doomed before it begins. Until Kiefer offers to help out, in exchange for Hastings cutting Walker loose.
Cole follows Dana down her never-ending rabbit-hole of stupid, going AWOL to track her down just before she makes her move on Kevin and Nick. She ends up confessing everything to her fiancé instead. Cole steps up to scare them off, which works on Kevin, until Nick kills him and gets killed himself going after Cole. Yeah, I'm thinking that wedding's off.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Tonight's previouslies freeze-frames: Renee Walker, Cole Ortiz (for the first time), Dana Walsh, Sergei Bazhaev, and Jack Bauer. Apparently there were no presidents in the hour, and there won't be any in this one either.
At the wheel of a Mercedes van, Josef pulls up to a loading dock and takes a look at the case behind him holding the rods before opening the door and hopping out. Quite a little jump down for him, there. He's the only person present, even though we just saw Farhad having a little party on this very spot just a few minutes ago. I hope for Josef's sake that this isn't one of those parts of town filled with roaming street gangs looking for people to rob of their unsecured nuclear materials. Although gangbangers with The Bomb would certainly be a departure for the rest of this season.
Meanwhile, back at the restaurant, preparations are being made for Bazhaev to call Josef, with Kiefer and CTU also on the line so Chloe can triangulate the other end of the call. Kiefer dials Josef's cell phone number. Josef answers, thinking it's the belated Farhad, but even when he hears his father's voice, he listens to him for some reason as Bazhaev tells him not to hang up. Bazhaev doesn't play any games, saying that he knows Josef has the rods, and so do the authorities. Kiefer cuts in to introduce himself and say he's there with Bazhaev. "Do what you want with him, I don't care," Josef says coldly. Ooh, that's got to sting. Earlier this month my five-year-old kept threatening not to give me my Valentine until summer, so I know exactly how Bazhaev feels right now. Kiefer says Bazhaev cares enough about Josef to have made an immunity deal for him if he brings the rods in. Josef brings up the Oleg debacle, and Kiefer, even though he knows all about it, has to listen to the two Bazhaevs argue about that for a bit until Bazhaev insists that it's all over anyway. "If you don't bring the rods in they will hunt you down. They will kill you, Josef. I won't be able to protect you!" You know, like he protected Oleg. Josef seems almost convinced, and after a long pause, Kiefer says they need to hurry before Farhad gets there. Bazhaev tells Josef to move, and Josef, having gotten the message, says he's on his way. Just then we see that Josef is already being observed from a nearby rooftop, by a guy with a sniper rifle. "Careful with the rods," Farhad warns softly at the sniper's shoulder. Josef spots the red laser sighting dot on the van in front of him, then turns just in time to catch it-- and the bullet that follows -- in the heart. "Sounded like shots fired," Hastings obviouses. Bazhaev begs Kiefer to help Josef, but he doesn't know where Josef is, and Chloe hasn't completed the call trace beyond narrowing it down to somewhere in Central Queens near Flushing Meadows Park. Hastings dispatches units to that area and orders Kiefer to bring Bazhaev back to CTU. Wonder if his immunity still applies if they don't get the rods?
Somewhere in Central Queens, near Flushing Meadows Park, Farhad's party comes running up to where Josef lies dead behind the van, but with his cell phone open on the pavement and still very much alive. With the line still open, Kiefer and the people listening in from CTU can clearly hear Farhad saying they need to hurry up and get to the boat waiting for them at the port. Would he mind also telling the people at home which port, and which boat, and which roads they plan to take? But then Farhad's sidekick, Samir, says that probably won't work any more anyway: "The authorities know our plan. We need a new one." Farhad turns to a henchman who looks about to pry open the lid of the case holding the rods and snaps, in whatever language they speak in Kamistan when they're not speaking English to each other, "Hey, what are you doing? Don't touch that." Belatedly, Samir spots Josef's phone and stomps on it, then everyone climbs into the van while Hastings tells Kiefer they're already checking voice prints to try to identify the people they overheard. I think they can probably narrow it down pretty quickly. Kiefer and the other agents are leading Bazhaev to the waiting CTUmobiles at 12:06:02.
Back at CTU, Chloe has already identified Farhad's voice on the call. "So he got his fuel rods," Hastings says. That very second, Arlo is on his way over to tell Hastings that Rob Weiss is on the line. Before going to take the call, Hastings tells Chloe to start interrogating Bazhaev as soon as he arrives. For all the good it will do.
Chloe calls Kiefer to get an ETA from him, and Kiefer says it'll be about fifteen minutes (which it won't). As for the likelihood of getting anything useful out of his prisoner, Kiefer says, "If Bazhaev could have told me how to get to the people who just killed his son, he would have." Chloe asks Kiefer if he's okay after his recent ordeal, which she already heard about somehow. "Yeah, I'm fine, thanks," he says, not huffily for once. He asks about Walker, and Chloe says she's still in Medical. Kiefer asks Chloe to patch him through to there, and a moment later, Kiefer's on the line with Walker. She's changed into a lighter shade of clothing and has her hair in a sleek ponytail, so clearly she's already emerging from that dark place she's been in. He quickly updates her on having and then losing the fuel rods, and says he's done with all this as soon as he delivers Bazhaev to CTU. Kiefer then asks her how it went with her telling about what happened between her and Vladimir. He's glad to hear that Chloe did the debriefing, and Walker corrects that it was more like a short talk, followed by Walker writing out a statement. Kiefer wants to confirm that she said she acted in self-defense. "Yes, like we agreed," Walker says, which isn't good enough for Kiefer; he wants her to believe she did nothing wrong. She says she'll try. I assume he means she hasn't done anything wrong since cutting Ziya's thumb off. She awkwardly brings up another topic: "When you said that I have you..." "I meant it like it sounded," Kiefer non-answers. Walker asks what's , and he says they'll figure it out, which doesn't tell her much more. Between Dmitri and Ike Dubaku's brother and the Chinese and the Coral Snakes and everything else, Kiefer's maybe gotten a little too good at not answering questions.
At 12:08:42, Hastings finally reaches his office to take that call from Rob Weiss. Must have stopped to take a dump on the way. Rob already seems to have the whole picture, which he describes as "Not good, Brian. Really not." But isn't it good how he learned about Farhad's acquisition of the rods at the same second CTU did? There's something to be said for communication, after all. Rob reminds Hastings that he leaned on President Taylor to put Hastings in charge of the new CTU because he thought he could do the job. Hastings insists he can, which Rob is glad to hear. "'Cause when things get this colossally screwed up, people look for someone to blame." Yes, but those people are never anyone we like. Rob says he doesn't want Hastings to be the scapegoat, because that would blow back on Rob. "And that cannot happen. Are we on the same page here?" Hastings isn't even in the same book, so Rob brings up Walker. "She killed one of our main leads, isn't that right?" Yes, but at least she waited until he had proven himself useless. Hastings, who an hour ago was after Walker's blood himself, comes to her defense now, saying she was defending herself from a psychopath. "She stabbed him fifteen times," Rob says. Maybe he was a very persistent psychopath. Hastings points out that Walker risked her life. "I'm sure that will weigh in her favor," Rob says. Clearly it already has for Hastings, because he continues to resist this idea until Rob impatiently asks him who he wants to take the fall. When Hastings doesn't give an answer -- not even Chloe -- Rob says he's sending over someone from Justice named Kristin Smith. "Just open the door and get out of the way." It's 12:10:22, and I think there might be some doubt regarding whether Hastings will be able to accomplish even that much.
12:14:42. Now that Cole has satisfied himself that the truck stop Bazhaev sent them to is a dry hole, uranium-wise, it's time for him and his team to pack up and head back to CTU. Except then he gets a call from Arlo, who has the GPS coordinates from Dana's phone. Cole tells Arlo to send them to his PDA, and when stupid Arlo points out that might not be such a good idea, Cole snaps, "You're the one who stuck his nose in all this. Just do it." Cole tells Arlo that the rest of his team is heading back and he'll follow within the hour. "If Hastings asks, just tell him I'm following up a lead," Cole adds. Which I'm sure will satisfy Hastings. With Cole and Dana both out on vague errands, he's probably going to assume they got a room somewhere. Arlo asks Cole if this is worth going AWOL over. "She's my fiancé, Arlo," Cole snaps, and hangs up. Then he walks over, commandeers a CTUmobile, and sits behind the wheel considering for a moment before pulling out. Of the parking lot, that is, not out of the relationship. Which is the opposite of what he should do.
At 12:16:05, Dana kills her headlights as she pulls into a secluded area of what I guess is Central Park, following Kevin's van as it parks near what I assume is the Reservoir. It's dark and wooded enough to be in south Jersey, but then the Manhattan skyscrapers are awfully close in the background. Anyway, Dana pulls her gun out of her purse, screws on a silencer, and settles in to wait, while Kevin and Nick canoodle in the van with a couple of strippers while listening to heavy metal music. I wish I could tell you that the tunes are provided by a 24-core band called Cyprus Audio, but that would, as far as I know, be a fiction.
Back at CTU, Hastings asks Arlo if Dana's back yet. Arlo says no, and asks, "Do you need her for something?" Hastings incredulously repeats the question, and says, "She's my chief data analyst. I need her to do her job." He tells Arlo to let him know when he finds her. Arlo doesn't tell Hastings where she is right now, even though he could, so I guess he's more loyal to Dana and Cole than his boss for some reason. And now, every person at CTU has officially covered for her. I hope they can still find time to save the country in between keeping her out of trouble.
A uniformed guard tells Hastings that Kristin Smith from Justice is already there. Hastings walks over to the power-suited woman with the visitor's badge and the accordion file to introduce himself, with even less charm than usual. "Mr. Weiss warned me you might have issues with this," Smith acknowledges. "With hanging a brave woman out to dry? Yes, I do," Hastings affirms. Smith claims she just wants Walker to straighten out the discrepancies between her statement and the forensic reports, the latter of which sure got done quickly. Then she asks Hastings to restrict surveillance access of her meeting with Walker, but also asks for a video of it afterwards. She does naughty things to herself while watching them in private, you see. Hastings agrees to both, and starts to lead her over to Medical.
Chloe enters the room where Walker is waiting, and hands her a transcript of her statement to review and sign. They talk about how soon Kiefer is expected to return, which will be significant very soon. In fact, at that moment, Hastings leads Smith into the room and says it's time for Chloe to leave. Chloe reluctantly obeys, and Hastings leaves Walker and Smith alone in there. In another splitscreen window, Chloe and Hastings are in the hallway outside as Chloe asks what that's all about, since Chloe already did the debrief. Hastings tries to play it off, and even flatters Chloe for her protectiveness toward Walker, but refuses to let her be in on the interview. "We have nuclear materials in the hands of terrorists. And I need you back at your desk, focused on that." "Yes sir," Chloe pouts, and mopes off. Look at that focus!
At 12:19:17, Farhad is in the shotgun seat of Josef's van as his sidekick, Samir, drives it into a huge warehouse that he says is owned by a sympathetic businessman. Farhad says they need to find another way to get the rods out of the country, and soon. Samir quietly points out, "They already know what we're trying to do...If we go near any airfield or harbor now, the radiological detectors will spot us." Farhad doesn't have an answer for that. The van pulls up to an open truck and stops, as everyone gets out. Farhad doesn't fail to notice that there's a whole other group of guys standing around the other truck, and asks Samir who they are. Samir explains that they're his recruits, and are going to unload the rods so they can ditch the van. "Then what?" Farhad demands. Samir tells him to rest, which is about the least relaxing thing Farhad could possibly hear right now. Finally, one of the other men, a guy named Ali, says, "We can't get the rods out of the country. So let's use them." Farhad asks what he means by that. Well, they'll build a dirty bomb, of course. "We'll show the Americans how strong we are." Or how stupid. Farhad is shocked, saying this will trigger an American invasion of their country. Samir says that an invasion will happen anyway, as per Hassan's peace agreement. "They're trying to turn us into another corrupt Mideast regime with your brother as dictator, kept in power by American guns and money. Isn't that what we came together to prevent?" Er, not exactly. But a long shot of the grouping is rather telling: there's a dozen guys in this locked, empty warehouse, and the only one of them who doesn't love the idea of cobbling together a radiological weapon is the littlest guy in the place, and not coincidentally the most wanted man in two countries. Farhad looks around and asks if there's another way. Samir softly says, "Remember, my friend, even a giant can be toppled by a single stone. We need to make them fear us." Clearly Samir didn't see how that worked out for the terrorists in Season Six. Farhad nods and says he's with them. Right on cue, a forklift pulls in to pick up the case and pull it out of the van as Farhad watches, his face grave. It's 12:22:43, and if it takes a forklift to move those rods, how did Josef manage it? Even if he got the two guards traveling with it to help him out before he shot them? I guess we'll never know, because even if Josef was more powerful than a locomotive, he was a good deal slower than a speeding bullet.
At 12:27:02, Hastings is using the one active video monitor in the place to watch Smith talk to Walker, asking if it's correct that Walker killed Vladimir in self-defense, like it said in her statement. "Yes, that's why it's in my statement," Walker nods. Saucy! Smith brings up Walker's history with Vladimir, which Walker admits to. Smith points out that when Vladimir tried to rape her years ago, she was able to fight him off. Walker says she also ended up in the hospital, but Smith acts impressed that Walker was able to manage it at all. "But this time when he attacked you, you didn't fight him off." Walker claims she couldn't, as Vladimir was strangling her. Which he was, earlier in the evening, but at the time she killed him he was pummeling her instead. Just thought I should make that distinction. Smith gives her a little more rope, and Walker concludes her story by saying she stabbed Vladimir in self-defense. "You stabbed him in self-defense fifteen times," Smith says, whipping out a few crime scene photos, leading off with a close-up of Vladimir's wrecked eye. "First blow alone could have stopped him," Smith says. Or at least made him start running around in circles. "But you didn't stop." Smith asks what Walker, an investigator in her own right, would think in Smith's place. "I acted in self-defense," Walker maintains in a weak whisper. Smith presents her own theory, which goes way beyond what actually happened: "You used an operation of unparalleled importance to seek revenge against the target without any regard for the final outcome." She says CTU shouldn't be brought down because of Walker's actions. This possibility clearly never occurred to Walker, possibly because it is ridiculous. My guess is even Smith doesn't believe it; she's just using that Cold Case tactic where you accuse the suspect of something really heinous to get her to defend herself and end up with an admission of something more understandable but still really illegal. I just hope Smith stops doing it before Walker morphs into a younger version of herself and we all find ourselves listening to the top hits of 2004. Walker doesn't speak, but her eyes are filling up. Smith reminds Walker that this isn't her first berserker rage: "You almost killed Alan Wilson. That's why you got fired by the FBI, isn't it?" That, Walker admits to. Now switching to a sympathetic act, Smith tells her to let it all out. "You killed Vladimir Laitanan because the thought of him touching you again was intolerable." Walker doesn't speak for a long time, even as Smith leans on her to confirm or deny.
Not a moment too soon, and a few too late, Kiefer's CTUmobile pulls into the entrance tunnel at 12:31:02, tires squealing, with the vehicle carrying Bazhaev right behind it. The weird thing is that it seems to have come around a corner from off the left edge of the screen, which I could have sworn was a solid wall at the beginning of the season. "Put him into holding," Kiefer orders the uniformed guard who pulls Bazhaev out. "No phone calls, no communication." Bazhaev asks to see his son's body, but Kiefer says it hasn't been found yet. Then maybe Bazhaev could at least get Oleg's cross necklace back? Oh, right, we last saw it in the hands of Cole, who is stupidly chasing his idiot girlfriend around the city. Chloe meets Kiefer at the entrance to tell him that Walker's being questioned, per Hastings' orders, by someone from Justice. Kiefer asks where Walker is now and asks if Chloe can get a look inside. Chloe says no, and asks what's going on. "They're setting her up to take the fall for the failure of this mission," Kiefer says, and stomps away. Remember how the bioweapon Kiefer was exposed to last season dulled his mental faculties? Yeah, he seems to be over that. Bazhaev watches Kiefer go like the no-longer-relevant character he is. Rough night for him; he lost two sons in as many hours, and now it's ten to one we'll never see him again.
Kiefer comes around the corner
to the hallway where a uniformed guard is posted outside Medical. The guard politely raises a hand to stop Kiefer, but Kiefer just punches him in the throat, grabs his hand to press it against the palm reader for access to the room, and then knocks him out with an elbow to the face. That's pretty off-the-reservation even for him. Charging into the room, he tells Walker, "They're setting you up. Don't say another word." "It's too late," Walker says. Smith tries to throw Kiefer out. So Kiefer grabs her by the throat and pushes her against the wall, just like Kevin did to Dana and Vladimir did to Walker. I think that's all the editorializing I need to do on that subject. Getting so far into her face that his eyes cross, he spits at Smith, "How dare you? After everything she's sacrificed? After everything she's lost? Have you no decency?" Hey, you're the one choking a woman, Tough Guy. And then quoting Joseph Welch? We're through the looking-glass now. Walker calls Kiefer off and he pushes Smith away, saying this is over and grabbing Walker's hand to lead her out, because the women in this room are simply there for him to move and position at his whim. But when he opens the door, the guard is waiting outside, his gun in Kiefer's face. "Son, you better put that down or you're gonna get hurt," Kiefer says. Dude, you do not cockblock Kiefer. The guard doesn't lower the weapon, but he does take a couple of steps back. "Okay," Kiefer says with satisfaction, and Walker out ahead of him. But when he goes to follow, another guard tases him in the ass -- second time today! -- and handcuffs him while the first one secures Walker at gunpoint. She holds up her hands like she's being arrested for not resisting a pissed-off Kiefer. Which probably shouldn't be against the law. And getting back to Kiefer, how much more electricity is that dude going to absorb today? If this continues much longer his ions are all going to line up and he'll have superpowers or something. More superpowers, I mean.
At the warehouse where Farhad is with Samir and his men (because let's face it, they stopped being Farhad's men a while ago), the rods are being removed from their case now. The same rods that would have killed Oleg just from getting too close, the same rods that they plan to scatter into fragments as a radiological weapon, and now there's nothing between them and the people who possess them but a couple of yards of empty air. And Bazhaev said what happened to Oleg was a result of him being "careless" with the rods? What did he do, lick them? Pull down his pants and sit on them? Use them as support poles to build a tent that he then slept in for a week? Farhad -- the very person Bazhaev told this to -- watches at 12:32:52 as a crane lifts them clear of the box. "Do you have what you need to turn the rods into a bomb?" he asks. Samir says they're working on it. "Must be difficult at such short notice," Farhad says, clearly fishing for clues that they've been planning this for a while. Samir says they have the explosives, but are still trying to get their hands on a detonator. Farhad says he knows someone who can help with that. It's just that Farhad needs to talk to him in private. So private that no one else can even be on Farhad's end of the call. Samir sends Ali to take Farhad to the office to use the phone there. Farhad and Ali walk off alone while everyone else redirects their attention to the rods, now being lowered back into containment. While walking away through the warehouse, Farhad asks Ali about the target. No answer from Ali. "So many targets in New York. It will be hard to choose," Farhad adds. Still nothing from Ali. So Farhad grabs a gigundous monkey wrench off a workbench he's passing and socks Ali in the gut with it. Clearly Farhad is a man not used to being ignored. Ali goes down and Farhad is about to follow up with a blow to the head when Ali sweeps his feet out from under him and he goes down hard. Farhad is still able to get in one more blow with the wrench before limping away. One of the other guys spots him heading for the exit and raises the alarm. While some of the men follow him, Samir orders Ali to find him at 12:35:03. How hard a chase will this be? Just follow the floppy hair and the smell of cheap Russian perfume.
12:39:22. Kiefer is led upstairs to Hastings's office. "Cuffs off," Hastings snaps. Kiefer is released, and Hastings tells the guards to leave and Kiefer to sit. "I'll stand," Kiefer growls, the better to enjoy his moral high ground. "So this is the new CTU?" he asks Hastings. "You hang your own?" Okay, first of all, Walker's not CTU, she's ex-FBI. Secondly, as I recall, there was a lot of own-hanging in the old CTU as well. Thirdly, Kiefer, who was that guy you just beat down outside Medical? A telemarketer? Hastings claims the questioning is standard procedure, which Kiefer doesn't buy since Chloe covered that already. "You've got some hack from Justice in there trying to initiate a criminal prosecution." He sees what Hastings is doing, and reminds him that he was there when Hastings asked Walker for help. Which is odd, because he wasn't. "She gave it to you. And we acquired the target. This is how you pay her back?" Kiefer threatens to call the White House, and Hastings tells him Rob Weiss is the one who sent Smith over in the first place. Kiefer says he meant President Taylor. They're besties, you know. Hastings wishes him luck on that. "I think the president takes murder pretty seriously," he says. "My recollection, she prosecuted her own daughter." That's an excellent point. But then, Taylor's daughter was also an asshole. "Now I'm not asking," Hastings says. "Sit down." Kiefer sits, but he makes sure we all know he's not happy about it. But maybe Walker will return the favor and come to drag him out by the hand.
Just then is when Chloe decides to stick her head in. Hastings snaps at her that they're busy, but this seems like kind of a priority: Farhad Hassan is calling. She has voiceprint confirmation and everything. If we didn't know better, I'd suspect Chloe of only having one voiceprint in her system that causes her to identify every incoming caller as Farhad Hassan, which might make for some awkward moments when Morris calls from home: "Hello, dahling, I was just wondering if I might trouble you to pop in at the market to pick up a few items on the way home." "Oh, my God, Farhad Hassan is at my house!" Anyway, Hastings gestures for Chloe to put him through on his desk speakerphone, which she does. "Mr. Hassan, this is Brian Hastings, director of CTU," Hastings says, rather politely considering he's talking to someone who personally killed one of his agents about five and a half hours ago. Lying on the ground, trying to stay out of sight, Farhad pants that he's being chased by the people who have the rods. It's news to Hastings that anyone but Farhad even has them. "They turned against me," Farhad says. "They have their own plan. An attack on New York." And he says it's coming soon. Hastings asks for names, like that's the priority right now, but Farhad wants to be gotten out of there first so he can tell them everything. The new and improved CTU must really have gotten the word out on its new no-torture policy, or else Farhad would probably just be killing himself right now. Hastings promises to get Farhad out and asks where he is. "Forest Hills...some kind of boat warehouse," Farhad says. He asks them to hurry, since he's hurt. Hastings tells him to stay on the line -- even though it's secure and they can't trace it -- and tells Chloe to get Cole. Chloe says she can't, since his team came back without him. "Owen said he was following a lead." So Hastings decides to put Owen in charge of extracting Farhad. Chloe has her doubts. "Just do it, Chloe," Hastings says. I can't believe I don't have a macro for that phrase yet. Suddenly seeming to remember that Kiefer's still sitting on his couch, Hastings tells him he's going to be processed out of the building. "Fine," Kiefer grumps, like it's a terrible inconvenience for him to be allowed to walk out of here after assaulting two people. Not that I'm thinking we've seen the last of Kristin Smith. He leaves Hastings' office at 12:42:15, shaking off the hand of the guard waiting outside to escort him. The guard should probably tase him again just for good measure.
In Central Park, Dana's moment seems to be approaching. As she watches, the side door on Kevin's van slides open, and out tumble the strippers, having had enough of freakshow Nick. They don't even want a ride back, because Nick's just that much of a charmer. "Goodnight, ladies," Kevin calls after them, while Nick comes out and stumbles around with his pants undone. While he heads over to the Reservoir to piss in it, Dana picks up her gun and gets out of the car, her hair now knotted into a ponytail. She starts the long walk over to the van, her face broadcasting murderous intent. Hey, don't the guys get points for not bringing the strippers back to her place? Before Dana gets very close, she's pinned by a pair of headlights as Cole's CTUmobile screeches to a stop behind her. Each of them angrily wonders what the other is doing here. "We're in the middle of an operation, Dana, you can't just abandon your post!" Cole lectures. Dana says she can explain, but Cole starts dragging her toward the truck, saying they can "deal with our personal problems after we've secured the nuclear materials." Dana says it's not what he thinks: "I am not sleeping with him." She refuses to leave with Cole. "If I leave, this will never end." Cole asks what, and Dana argues with him before finally giving in over the course of a nice, long, expressive moment that really just makes me pissed off that Katee Sackhoff is being wasted in this ridiculous subplot. They both get into the CTUmobile, Cole giving the van a long look before he joins her inside and tells her to start talking. Which she does: "My name is not Dana Walsh. It's Jenny Scott." Tell it to the previouslies freeze-frames. It's 12:45:07.
At 12:49:25, Farhad is still hiding out, his phone still to his ear, as the guys with flashlights on their guns close in. At their head, Ali answers his ringing cell phone. It's Samir, asking if they found Farhad yet. "I injured him badly. He won't get far," Ali assures Samir. Samir tells him they're moving the rods to a secure location, and Ali needs to hang back and find Farhad. Ali doesn't seem to be pleased with this assignment. I guess he'd rather fuck around with poisonous metal than chase after a gimped-up little weasel
On the CTU floor, Arlo has pulled up an overhead view of the complex, which is "a six acre warehouse complex in Forest Hills. Farhad is somewhere in one of these buildings." Of which there are eight, plus he's actually outside, so this search is already not looking particularly blessed. He adds that the rods must also be there, and although the aerial surveillance drones are en route, it's going to be twelve minutes before they get there. Are the drones taking taxis? The police are also going to cordon off the area, but it's going to take a while. Just then Agent Owen -- who I think is that young, inexperienced rookie from last week who couldn't even buckle his flak jacket by himself -- presents himself to Hastings, ready to lead the operation. He's got three units ready, and as Hastings walks him out, he remarks, "A lot of pressure on you, Agent Owen." Yeah, too bad Hastings doesn't have any experienced, grizzled tactical agents on his staff. He wants to hear Owen's plan. Owen says they're assuming the rods are near Farhad, so the first two teams are to retrieve them, while the third team evacuates Farhad. "It's a standard urban search and rescue. We're in, we're out." In the background, Kiefer cuts in, "Nothing standard about it," as he shoulders his man-purse and then walks out. Passive-aggressive much? Hastings follows Kiefer out the door, saying his name twice before he'll deign to turn around. Hastings tells Kiefer to speak his mind, and Kiefer does: "The people that are chasing Farhad already now they've got a big security problem, so most likely, by the time your men get there, those fuel rods will be long gone. And then you're down to one team covering Farhad? What if they run into resistance? Well, at that point you start shooting at people who have a higher intel value than the man you're going to try and save." I think I like Kiefer better when he's talking like Michael Westen. Hastings says he has all confidence in Agent Owen. Kiefer actually smirks, "Yeah, if that were true you wouldn't be standing here talking to me." Hastings asks if Kiefer's offering to bring in Farhad. "Yes," Kiefer says, "if you drop the criminal investigation against Renee Walker." He knows Hastings would prefer to do that anyway, and offers to be his excuse for getting out of it. Hastings starts to walk away, until Kiefer calls out, "I've sat in that chair before. The chair you're sitting in now? I know what it's like." Is he referring to the cutting-edge ergonomics? He adds, "The ones that last here, the ones that mattered? They knew when to say no." Hastings says he can't say no to the White House. "You've got a lot more juice than you think," Kiefer tells the head of CTU, "especially with a nucular weapon in play." Hastings says if they proceed, it's not for one rescue operation. "It's 'til this whole thing is over and done...You're not in and out any more. I want you in, with both feet." Because honestly, the writers are growing weary of coming up with new reasons for Kiefer to keep hanging around every few hours. Kiefer settles his man-purse strap across his body and says, "Deal." Man, he's never going to get to L.A. at this rate.
Back at the park, Dana is just gettin
g to the part of her story where she facilitated a robbery, and even though she leaves out the part about Nick curbstomping a police officer, Cole's pretty shocked. Dana says Kevin was going to ruin her life. "What would you have done?" "Not this," Cole says, speaking for millions of viewers. Dana adds that Kevin promised to leave her alone after this. "Let me guess. He didn't keep his end of the bargain," Cole chuckles humorlessly. See, Cole hasn't even met Kevin and he knows better. Cole finally figures out that's why Dana's here, and makes her show him the gun in her hand, which he snatches away. "You were going to kill them," he says in disgust. "You were going to shoot them in cold blood." Dana says she now sees that she was wrong, but she was scared. "I thought that I was doing this for us." Yeah, that argument is so not going to work. He asks if she's out of her mind (for your answer, Cole, please see recaps), and she says she loves him. He tells her not to say another word, and then gets out of the truck at 12:54:37. He starts striding toward the van with her gun still in his hand, telling her to stay in the truck. Of course, she doesn't, instead scampering along to him begging him to stop while he ignores her. Finally he reaches the open door of the van and points the gun inside, where Nick and Kevin are just about to toke up, way in the back where they wouldn't have seen Cole coming. Kevin quickly stashes the joint while Nick looks at a shotgun in the mess on the van's floor. Cole dares him to go for it. "That way I only have to deal with one of you losers." "I think you got the wrong address, pal," Kevin says. Cole snags the shotgun himself and tells Kevin to shut up and listen. to him, Dana again begs him to leave with her, and Kevin and Nick see her for the first time. Suddenly Kevin gets it, and lowers his hands before pointing a finger at Cole. "Thought you looked familiar," he says, no doubt recalling the photos of him and Dana in her place. Kevin wishes he and Cole could have a beer. "I'm sure we'd have a lot to talk about." Always a good idea to taunt a person pointing a gun in your face. Cole again tells him to shut up, and lays out the options he's offering them, the first being to go back to prison for grand larceny and aggravated assault, even though Dana didn't tell him about the aggravated assault part. Kevin points out that Dana would also go back to prison, to which Cole answers, "My guess is she's prepared to live with that." "Nuh-uh!" Dana wisely doesn't pipe up. Cole tells Kevin and Nick that their other option is to walk away clean with their money, and never come back. "If I even hear about you crossing the state line, I'll skip the formalities and kill you myself. Do we have a deal or not?" Kevin says they do. Cole says he never wants to see other of them again, and slams the van shut. As much as you can slam a sliding door, that is.
Nick immediately throws down his bottle, then rummages behind the back seat to find a revolver and a knife. Kevin, who thought this was over, asks what he's doing. "Going after them," Nick says. He figures, "We get rid of him, we're right back in business with her." Quietly, Kevin tells his violent, moronic partner that they got more than they came for, and they shouldn't push their luck. "We're done, okay? Got me?" And then, like an idiot, he turns his back on Nick. So Nick grabs him and stabs him in the chest, then throws him face-down on the floor. Wow, between Dana and Nick, Kevin sure has stellar taste in friends, doesn't he?
Outside, on their way back to the van, Dana is too busy thanking Cole for what he did (not even counting the part where he's now an accessory after the fact to Kevin and Nick's robbery and assault) to notice the sound of the van door sliding open behind them. I don't know what Cole's excuse is for not hearing it, unless it's the same voluntary deafness that's helping him shut Dana out right now. Nick is behind them, getting closer. Kevin, still alive somehow, manages to struggle to the open van door and scream out, "Jenny!" Nick barely glances back before opening fire on Cole. Cole pushes Dana down behind the CTUmobile, then pops up from behind it and downs Nick with one blast from Nick's own shotgun. Lucky for him Nick had it loaded. Cole goes to check the body while Dana runs past them to where Kevin is dying in the van's doorway. She lets him fall out into her lap as he gasps out his last words: "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come back." YOU THINK!? Cole stands over them both as Kevin expires, and good riddance. It's 1:00:00.
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M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at M.Giant[at]gmail.com.