Episode Report Card Jessica: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT All The Right Moves
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 12 | Aired on 01.21.2003
Cut to the dark, smoky study of the president of NotEnron, who's smoking a cigar and is lit only by the light from the fireplace. We get it: he's evil. As if all the smoke billowing around his face wasn't enough of a clue, the president of NotEnron is Leland Palmer. And Leland Palmer, as everyone who watched Twin Peaks knows, is actually possessed by the devil. Seriously, kids -- if BOB makes an appearance, I am out. Pacey, this man will kill you. RUN! Instead of bailing, however, Pacey kisses Leland Palmer's ass and Leland Palmer kisses Pacey's ass, and it turns out that Leland Palmer and Bobby Briggs want Pacey to take a "more prominent role" in the NotEnron account. His title will stay the same, but he'll get a big raise and his name will be on every transaction that Boiler Room, Inc., handles for NotEnron. Or, in layman's terms, Pacey will get a raise for a few months while he's being set up as Leland Palmer's and Bobby Briggs's patsy, and then he'll go to jail for cheating the Feds while Leland and Bobby spend all the money they've funneled into Swiss bank accounts and Cayman Island tax shelters on hookers and blow. Pacey, however, is apparently a total idiot and doesn't see that two plus two is equaling five here, and thinks this entire thing is a great idea! Pacey, Pacey, Pacey. Never make a deal with Leland Palmer.
Liberty Hell's Kitchen. Harley asks Joey if she's mad. Joey isn't, but she'd prefer it if Harley would quit telling people that she's knocked up. Harley apologizes. "You were so sad. I just thought I could help," she says. Joey knows that, she says, and takes a seat. "He's gone. He just left. And he's given up," she says. And the sad thing is, she says, his stories are aces. But there's nothing she can do about that. Harley…God. This is so dull. I really just want to stop recapping this plot line and start recapping, say, this copy of InStyle on my coffee table. "Oh, stop complaining," my Mulder action figure tells me. "Yeah. You left us in the freezer for weeks while this show was on reruns. I have no feeling left in my right foot," the Scully says. "At least you have the use of all your extremities!" Fine! So, Harley suggests that Flip-Flops read Oliver's stories. Joey whines that Flip-Flops would never help, and Oliver would never let him. Harley rightly points out that if Flip-Flops hates the stories, Oliver never has to know. And if he doesn't hate them, maybe he'll help. So, ten excruciatingly dull minutes later, Joey asks Flip-Flops for his help. And -- after some yelping about how Oliver punched him and could have disfigured him -- Flip-Flops leaves. There's this whole rigmarole about Harley leaving her book bag at the bar, and blah blah blah…basically, Flip-Flops ends up reading the stupid stories. That's all you really need to know. If you even care anymore. Especially about the shenanigans of a bunch of characters we'd never even heard of before this season.
At the club, Audrey is still singing horribly. She does a little crowd-surfing and then passes out cold, right there onstage. The rest of the band looks wicked pissed.