Episode Report Card Jessica: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT All The Right Moves
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 12 | Aired on 01.21.2003
Elsewhere in Boston. Audrey walks through Emma's building and up to her apartment door. There's a long line of punky-looking girls waiting outside, but Audrey just up and knocks. Emma opens the door, and Audrey waltzes inside. "Dude, what is up with all the Courtney Love wannabes?" she asks. "It's like an Audrey convention out there." Emma looks uncomfortable and explains that, see, her band used to have this great lead singer, but that she was totally unreliable, and that they've gotten themselves a "fairly monumental" gig that could turn out to be huge for them. And so they need a new lead singer. "One with the talent, minus the drama," she says. Audrey finally gets the fact that she's been fired, as Emma continues to look uncomfortable and the rest of the band looks silently peeved. Audrey nods and says that she understands, that she deserved to get fired, and she's so sorry -- so, so, so sorry. She then proceeds to beg for her job back. The Silently Peeved Backup Musicians just look disgusted and skeptical as Audrey promises that she'll be "better than good," she'll be "the best." If only they can give her another chance. Please please please please please? Swayed, apparently, by the sheer power of Audrey's oration, Emma and her mute bandmates agree to give her another shot. We all know that's going to come back and bite them in the ass, right?
Liberty Hell's Kitchen. Joey cleans out Oliver's locker, tossing stuff into the trashcan left and right. She comes across a large manila envelope from Fictional Publishing House, Inc. Inside is a pretty standard Your Manuscript Shows Promise But We Don't Want to Publish It Anyway letter, clipped to something titled Greetings from Worchester. Oliver's been writing short stories, it seems. Joey pages through the book and looks thoughtful.
And then we go to commercial. Yes, because that particular scene is sure to keep people from switching over to The Bachelorette or American Idol. I'm sure that Not Lines all over the land are lighting up as viewers struggle to process the fact that Oliver's short stories got rejected! Oh my God! Whatever will happen next?
After the break, we cut to the Hell's Belles, at what I presume is the sound check for their Big Important Gig. Audrey sounds pretty good when she's not all strung out on the sauce. A bunch of dudes listen to the girls rehearse and leer at Audrey's rack. I guess they're roadies? Or guys from the various bands that Hell's Belles is opening for? Oh, wait: I don't really care. Boys watch, Audrey sings. I give her, oh, about two minutes until she's climbing back into the driver's seat of this whole Downward Spiral thing. Finally, Audrey wraps up the set and stumbles over to guzzle some bottled water. One of the leery dudes (not, technically, however, a Leery dude) ambles over and gives her a Joey Tribbiani-style "How you doin'" look. "Hey," he drools. "Hello," Audrey coos. The guy -- let's call him Marcel, just for fun -- asks her if she likes to "have fun." I suspect that's a euphemism for "take drugs and blow me in the back of the van." Audrey shrugs that, sure, she loves to "have fun." Marcel puts the moves on her by telling her that he's in one of the other bands, "Satan's Tampon." Audrey's heard of them. What with Audrey's behavior of late, I suspect that she's been using Satan's tampons. Marcel wonders if Audrey'd like to come back to the bus with him and "party." She agrees. Yeah, good plan. Let's see…Vulnerable Co-Ed On The Wagon decides to "go back to the tour bus" with a bunch of debauched pseudo-rockers. That's a recipe for sobriety if I've ever heard one.