Episode Report Card Niki: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Losing You
By Niki | Season 3 | Episode 18 | Aired on 04.07.2002
Fade to Zoe's room, later that night. Lily straightens Martha's dress and sets the doll on a shelf. She blows Zoe a good-night kiss and heads for the door. Zoe calls out to ask if Lily and Barbara were close when Lily was a girl. Softly, Lily says they were. Zoe asks what happened, then. Lily gently closes the door and then sits next to Zoe on the bed, saying, "I'm not exactly sure. I guess Grandma loves babies so much, it's hard for her to accept that they grow up into big girls."
Soliloquy Lily, perched on a stool in the Thinker's pose, muses, "What are Zoe and Grace going to say about me when I get older? Are they going to roll their eyes every time I call?" Hon, they do that now.
Zoe asks, "Is it hard for you that I'm growing up?" Lily strokes her cheek and says, "Absolutely." "Even though I can't help it," Zoe says. Lily says change is just hard for parents sometimes. Tentatively, Zoe suggests that maybe Lily shouldn't be so mad at Bea. Lily asks what she means. "Well, she's changing, too. By getting old. And she can't help it either." Lily nods a little, trying not to cry, and agrees.
Cut to Lily's hand knocking on Grace's bedroom door. She opens the door to find Bea packing. Lily reminds her that her flight isn't until the next day. Bea says that packing gives her something to do. Lily hints, "You know, you don't have to leave tomorrow." Bea laughs if off, saying that Lily must be anxious to get back to her regular life. Lily doesn't answer, but softly closes the door.
Stepping into the room, she says that Zoe loves the doll, and thanks Bea for giving it to her. Bea looks up from the sweater she's folding, and assures Lily, "Zoe and I are going to be just fine. Grandmothers are different from mothers." Lily gives her head an ironic nod. Bea wanders into the bathroom in search of her brush, and Lily picks up a sweater that needs folding. Barbara's notebook falls out of it, and Lily picks it up for a closer look. Opening it, she finds a list of vital information: Lily's job, Rick's job, the kids' names and ages, Judy's job, and reminders about the party and the sweater she borrowed from Lily. You can practically hear Lily's heart break as she confronts her mother's illness on the page. Hearing Bea returning, Lily quickly closes the book, but she can't keep her eyes from welling with tears. Bea notices the thunder storm outside, and comments that it's a nice sound. Lily absently agrees. Bea studies the forlorn look on Lily's face, and throws out a tidbit, saying that she was just Zoe's age when her mother died: "After that, everything changed." She's distracted by the storm again, remarking that Lily always liked the rain. Lily says she remembers waking up during a storm when she was little, and feeling scared until Bea took her out on the porch so she could get used to it. She puts a hand on her mother's shoulder, asking if she remembers. Bea stiffens, saying shortly, "Of course I do." She brushes Lily's hand away and moves toward her suitcase, softly saying, "Not now, Lily."