Episode Report Card Couch Baron: A- | 193 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT "You Fart Helium?"
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 1 | Aired on 1999.03.19
After a close-up of the shuttle, Crichton and his dad walk down a hall as Elder Crichton says that he talked to the people at Control, and they're going to take good care of Crichton. His dad continues that he heard that Crichton went "AWOL from the rat cage," and goes on that if he'd ever broken quarantine in his day... He then asks Crichton if he's got "rattlers" in his stomach, because this is a manly father-son bonding session, and as such has no room in it for pussy-ass things like butterflies. Crichton reminds Elder Crichton that he's already been up on the shuttle twice, but Elder Crichton says that never made any difference for him. The basic underlying vibe from this scene is that Elder Crichton was a bad-ass astronaut, and while he's genuinely proud of his son, Crichton worries about living up to his father's reputation. Elder Crichton says he never got to use his brain while he was flying, only..."Guts and the seat of my flight suit!" parrots Crichton with a big, warm smile. Aww. Elder Crichton finishes by saying that Crichton will be his own kind of hero. "Chances are, it'll be the last thing you ever expected." It's a good thing Crichton's about to travel across the galaxy, because he's going to have to search far and wide to find a bigger understatement. Elder Crichton then gives Crichton a ring on a chain, which Crichton doesn't want to take at first, as it's Elder Crichton's good-luck charm. Elder Crichton: "You give it back to me tonight." And with that, I can't believe that Crichton's ship isn't named the U.S.S. Minnow, and that they didn't call Pilot "Skipper."
Launch. Beauty shots, dramatic music. Later, the shuttle's in orbit as a female reporter's voice tells us about Crichton's mission again, saying that the craft he's going to pilot is of his own design, and also that he'll try to get the Earth's gravitational force to slingshot him off into space "at previously unrecorded speeds." She adds that a successful outcome would be the first concrete step toward interstellar travel. Or, for alien races who keep tabs on Earth, the "there goes the neighborhood" moment. Crichton calls in from his ship, Farscape One, and asks D.K., "Are you with me there, Mama Bear?" Um. I'm trying to escape that comment without a homoerotic joke, but it's more difficult even than what Crichton's attempting. I'm going to do my best to ease away slowly, though. D.K. then tells Crichton he's a go for "insertion procedure." Yeah, I knew that wouldn't work. Anyway, Crichton heats up and shoots off. We get cool looks at Farscape hurtling around the Earth. Suddenly, D.K. freaks, as Meteorology reports that an electromagnetic wave is headed for Crichton. Crichton tries to get more information, and D.K. in turn tells him to abort, but it seems like the wave interferes with the transmission. Elder Crichton then takes over and orders Crichton to abort, in that tone that he probably used when child Crichton was in the basement playing astronaut and didn't heed his mother's first call for dinner. He's not going into the wave to be contrary here, Pops. But into the wave he does go, and very soon after that, it folds up and is gone. D.K. has a look on his face like, "And tonight was going to be the perfect night to tell him how I really feel."