Episode Report Card Sara M: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Missing: Alice, and Eleven Cast Members
By Sara M | Season 8 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.16.2003
At school, Martin walks right by Asslee without acknowledging her. Ha! Some girl walks up and starts telling Asslee about how Martin is a loser, and Mizzz Jones just brought him in to help the baseball team win the state championship, and how he's older than he says he is. Pot? Meet kettle -- the actress playing that girl has got to be in her thirties at least. Asslee does some indignant head-wiggling as she explains that she's seen Martin's license, and he's definitely sixteen, and the reason why he came to their school is because his dad is in Iraq. "Love is blind, and apparently also deaf," responds the other girl, who assumes that Martin's license is a fake and his story about his dad is, too. Okay, but…how does that make love deaf? Unless she's talking about how Martin would have to be deaf to be able to deal with Asslee's hissy, raspy, squeaky voice.
Peter and Ruthie enter the kitchen, where Annie and the twins are hanging out. Annie is way too excited about the fruit salad she's making, and offers some to Ruthie and Peter. When Peter accepts, she doles some out for him using her hands. That's a great way to spread salmonella, so you won't catch me complaining. An episode devoted to the Camdens all having salmonella but only one bathroom between them would be more than welcome. Annie asks Ruthie and Peter if they can keep the twins busy while she makes dinner. Since Ruthie said she wanted more responsibility around the house, including taking care of her brothers, she stays silent until Peter volunteers to play Candyland with them. Way to stay consistent, there, Ruthie. SamVid ask if they can have candy instead of fruit, because they prefer the sanitary, individually wrapped candy to the fruit 'n' Annie's hand germs salad. Crisis is averted when Peter claims to loves fruit, and the easily-swayed twins change their minds and decide that they love it, too. They don't eat any, though, before they go upstairs with Peter, who smirks self-satisfiedly at his own ability to tell four-year-olds what their opinions are. Ruthie takes advantage of her alone time with Annie to discuss her pitiful subplot with Asslee and Martin. Ruthie thinks that when she told Asslee she thought Asslee might believe the rumors about Martin, she hurt Asslee's feelings. SuperMom offers words of praise, but nothing in terms of advice, which was what Ruthie wanted. Ruthie makes another attempt to get help from her mother by saying that once you say something to someone, you can't un-say it. "Again, good for you," says Annie, "hard lesson to learn, really it is." I guess you have to be that encouraging when your daughter shows signs of having consideration for the feelings of others after thirteen years of being a sociopath, but you'd think Annie would at least offer a "you should call Asslee and apologize" or something.