Episode Report Card Sara M: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Missing: Alice, and Eleven Cast Members
By Sara M | Season 8 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.16.2003
Annie finishes reading "the story of Mushkill Goosha" to the twins. I have no idea what that is. Maybe she was supposed to say "Little Women," but got plastered before shooting. SamVid provides us with an insightful critical analysis: "I liked it. It was very good. But I feel bad for the daddy when he took the daughter away from him. Yeah, he didn't do anything wrong. Neither did she. She didn't stole the neck-a-lace." Annie explains that, once everyone found that out, they all liked the man and his daughter and "their lives were never difficult again." Yes, Annie, being popular really does make all of one's problems go away. Just ask Marilyn Monroe or Kurt Cobain about that. RevCam walks in the room, prompting the twins to jump off the bed, glom onto him, and attempt to suck the energy out of each of his legs. Now fully charged with life-force, they sprint out of the room to work on their plan for world domination. RevCam asks Annie if she wants to hear the latest gossip. She says she doesn't. He keeps trying to sell it to her, saying it involves Martin and "Mizzz" Jones, who is, in case you didn't know after hearing her described as such over a hundred times by now, the principal of the high school. Annie still doesn't want any part of it. RevCam is rendered speechless by his wife's refusal to butt into someone else's business. "Are you feeling okay, Annie?" he asks, pressing his wrist to her forehead. "Hmmm…you do seem a bit warm. I'm going to call Dr. Shannon, who is our family doctor of medicine. Doctor Shannon."
Asslee and Martin discuss slowing down their relationship on the Camdens' back porch. It's true; they were almost thinking about holding hands, and that is moving a little too fast. Kevin walks up and asks what they think of "the principal [of their high school], 'Mizzz' Jones?" Could they ram home the fact that, because she's a career woman, Principal Jones does not have a husband and thus must always be referred to as "Mizzz" any more? Martin loves Mizzz Jones, while Asslee thinks she's a "witch." Oh, just call her a bitch already! It's ridiculous that everyone in town refers to Mizzz as a witch unless, of course, it's later revealed that she practices the Wiccan religion. Then it would be appropriate. Asslee gets all mad at Martin for saying he likes someone he doesn't even know, to which Martin asks if anyone wants to know why he likes her. No one answers, but he goes ahead and tells us anyway. Mizzz Jones has gone out of her way to help him accommodate to his new school, and get "the nicest teachers." Well, that's just great of her, to tell a student which of her teachers is "nice" or not. It's probably a real morale booster for the teachers who are considered mean, too. Martin gets up and walks away while he's in mid-sentence, leaving Asslee to wonder "who died and made him the president of Mizzz Jones's fan club?" I don't know, Asslee -- who died and made you the worst actress on this show? Because last time I checked, Yasmin was still breathing. Asslee and her ginormous hoop earrings walk away.
RevCam eyes a lone slice of pumpkin pie in the fridge. As he takes it out, Kevin enters, startling RevCam and making him throw the pie back in the refrigerator. He springs up from behind the refrigerator door, sees Kevin, and says, "Oh! It's just you," then chuckles to himself. Huh? Who did he think would be walking in his back door at night and not wanting him to eat pie? Kevin claims to have just had an "interesting" conversation with Asslee and Martin about "the principal [RevCam] met today, Mizzz Jones," although I just saw this conversation and so can attest to its complete and utter lack of interest to anyone. The phone rings, and RevCam runs to answer it while Kevin takes the slice of pie out of the fridge and begins to devour it. RevCam has one of those one-sided phone conversations where the person at the other end conveys massive amounts of information in all of two seconds, then hangs up on the caller without saying goodbye. Kevin observes, then asks, "How come no one in this family says goodbye? They just finish their conversation and hang up. Even I've started doing it. People outside the family think I'm nuts." RevCam says it's a bad habit. So is reading internet forums about the show you write for, and then incorporating other people's ideas into your script, BRENDA. Although I'll admit that that was pretty funny. After asking Kevin for a piece of pie and getting an empty plate in return (and anyone who didn't see those yuks coming must be legally blind. Or stupid. Or both), RevCam explains that he just got a call from "the kid who helped Simon get into college early, the Harvard bum -- I'm sorry, did I say that out loud?" Me-ow, RevCam. Apparently, quite a few parents are angry with Mizzz Jones and are trying to have a school board meeting about it. They invited RevCam to act as a "moral compass." I snicker. Kevin asks RevCam if he's ever stopped a lynching before. RevCam says he has, "on occasion." I guess I missed that episode.