Episode Report Card Demian: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Little Monsters
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.15.2003
Darryl's Big Fat Stupid Subplot. First, the hostages race out of the post office, followed shortly by a triumphant Darryl, who lugs along the cuffed perp. The ZIP Code on the post office, by the way, is glaring and inexplicable "42995." I sincerely doubt they shot these scenes in Kentucky, but then again, I don't care. Darryl high-fives various cops on his way to a patrol car. Once there, he tosses the perp against the trunk and rips the back door clean off with his super-strength. Then, he flings the perp into the back seat, across the back seat, and out the other side of the car, blasting the other back door off in the process. Well, actually the perp blasted that door off, and why he's still alive, I'll never know, but again: Not caring. Darryl begins to freak. Yawn.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Piper wordlessly surveys the room she's stumbled across and discovers the shoddy, dirty trappings of a makeshift nursery, including various toys. She also finds a photograph of Seth Peterson looking rather doable, despite the shattered pane of glass that somewhat obscures his features. The Hunchback Of Not!re Lame silently pads up behind Piper and grabs her, spinning her around. "Last chance," he warns, panting in her face. "Help me get the child or die!" "What are you doing with this?" she calmly asks, twirling around one of the toys she's found. The H of Not! growls and pitches her across the room onto the bed. He advances upon her, howling, "Do you have a death wish? I've come too far -- I've gone through too much to lose him now! Don't make me kill you!" "What are you waiting for?" she challenges. "Get it over with." They stare each other down until The H of Not! naturally loses his nerve. He does threaten her, though, with "I can do worse than kill you. I can keep you here forever. You'll never see your child again. Think about it." And with that, he squiggles out. Piper ponders this while twiddling the found toy around in her fingers.
Attic. Phoebe and Raige complete "the most powerful potion [they've] ever made." As Raige distills some of it into a few vials, Phoebe's cell phone rings. It's Chronic, of course, wanting to chat about their stupid relationship. She vaguely begs off, he gets frustrated, and she gets loud. Again. Tongue Boy wakes up to her shrieking, and responds with some of his own. Phoebe hastily flips her phone shut, and Raige barely has enough time to toss her a vanquishing vial before the first Manticore squiggles into the room. The thing immediately knocks Raige across the floor, so Phoebe hurls her vial at it. Flames erupt at its feet, and while they take a while to catch hold, they do eventually engulf the monster. Two more Manticores almost instantly squiggle in behind Phoebe and flip her across the attic to join Raige on the carpet. As the monsters advance upon the dazed and defenseless Ps, The Hunchback of Not!re Lame squiggles in behind them. The H Of Not! flattens one of them with a swipe of his paw, then digs his fist into the other's chest. The two creatures remain locked in this manner for a long moment before The H of Not! sharply withdraws his hand. The Manticore howls and vanishes in a gout of flame. Meanwhile, its flattened pack-mate has been busily oozing yellow slime onto the floorboards. It raises its head, takes one look at The H of Not!, and squiggles out. The H of Not! lumbers across the room to gather up Tongue Boy as Raige shouts for Phoebe to fetch the remaining vanquishing vial. Phoebe does so, and manages to shatter the thing on The H of Not!'s hump. The vial explodes, ripping open a garish, bloody gash in The H of Not!'s flesh. He offers one final growl before squiggling away with Tongue Boy. "So much for our leverage," Phoebe breathes. Raige broods as we tear into the break.
H of Not! Estates. Piper flings her Hands repeatedly at the barrier shielding the front door, and it eventually splutters and shuts itself off. Piper tentatively twists on the knob to find herself in the middle of a quiet suburban street. Noises emerge from the bedroom behind her, and, rather than escaping, Piper turns to reenter the house. The grievously injured Hunchback of Not!re Lame's comforting Tongue Boy on the bed. "It's all right," he coos as best he can with that raspy voice of his. "You're home now." He glances nervously back at Piper, who stands silently in the hall, watching.