Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: A- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Your Diabolical Plan: The Sequel
By Cindy McLennan | Season 1 | Episode 12 | Aired on 01.28.2010
We return from break to find Damon dirty dancing with a random blonde. He then breaks into a Tango, because what other dance would you do to, "My Boyfriend's Back"? Elena and Stefan laugh that you really can't take him anywhere, but I don't know. At least he's having fun. What am I talking about? Oh, the pretty sucks me in so easy. Start spiking the punch with Vervain, stat. Damn, now I wish Stefan had done that. Anyhow, the young lovers' laughter is cut short when Elena spies a hooded figure in the back corner. When Stefan takes off after him and leaves Elena alone to get Damon to help her, I know this is a fake-out, but it's still pretty effective. When Stefan corners the hooded figure by the lockers, he somehow knows he's not a vamp. So maybe he can sense humans, but not vamps, but then wouldn't he assume a humanoid was a vampire if he couldn't sense the humanoid's humanity? (Don't even bring robots into this, okay?) Oh, bother. Never mind. Let's move forward. I'm afraid I'm nitpicking because I have had a headache for a couple of days and using my computer seems to make it worse. I think I might need glasses. Shut up. Anyhow, I actually enjoyed this episode terrifically and am enjoying myself right now, despite the headache.
So, while Stefan's learning that this dumb teenager took a hoodie from some guy because the guy told him to (there had to be thrall involved, yeah) and played decoy in a game he doesn't even know is taking place, Elena is scanning the crowded dance floor for Damon -- when her phone rings. It's Humpty and he tells her she has five seconds to walk through the door behind her. When she refuses, he reveals he's standing right behind Jeremy, and can snap his neck so fast, people won't even see it happen. She looks up and makes eye contact with her new stalker and orders him not to touch her brother, even as she follows his directions. When she's out in the hallway, she runs, searching for an exit. Does she not know about vampire's super-hearing, because I'd totally be calling out Stefan's name and Damon's, even in a normal voice. Anyhow, she runs down the hall and although it's not choreographed the same way, her run reminds me of Buffy's in Becoming and I feel sorry that she's a victim, even though I'm enjoying the fact that she's not a superhero.
When Elena reaches a set of double doors that are chain-locked, my mind moves from Buffy to poor Jenny Calendar, but Humpty Dumpty is no Angelus. When he finally gets Elena alone in the cafeteria, there's no chillingly cool neck snap. Instead, the throws her body across a table, and she knocks papers, books, and pencils to the floor as she slides off. Elena, smart girl that she is, grabs the pencils immediately. When he moves in for the kill, he drags Elena to her feet, which gives her time to stab him in the gut with a pencil. She plunges another one right into his hand! And then I think she gets him again, but she never gets his heart. He loses his balance and slips on the scattered sheets of paper, though, which gives her a moment to grab a mop and break the wooden handle over her skinny little shin. She grunts and plunges right for his heart, but he grabs the would-be stake and stops her, cold. He throws it across the room and lunges for her neck. Elena screams and once again, Stefan materializes and pulls Humpty off his girl. Stefan throws him to the ground. Humpty rises with a roar, only to be interrupted by Damon yelling, "Hey, dickhead!" No. Really. Apparently the CW doesn't have the dosh for a Standards & Practice review and in this case, I'm so glad, because that was hysterical.