Episode Report Card Daniel: B | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT I was blown up by a pirate ship
By Daniel | Season 1 | Episode 24 | Aired on 05.24.2005
They push it open. Nice-looking set, to my non-expert eyes. Although the stenciled "EXPLOSIVES" on the box that Kate finds looks a little too modern for me.
All you need to know about Arse is summed up by what he's saying as we join his diatribe already in progress: "And then my third wife, she says, get this, she says, 'I didn't sign up for this.' Now you tell me, what the hell is that even supposed to mean?" Hurley doesn't say anything, he just stares straight ahead, hoping this will be over soon. Arse snorts and asks if he's boring Hurley, and Hurley doesn't even appear to have caught what he said, which really makes Arse snap: "I'm sorry that I'm not cool enough to be part of your merry little band of adventurers," he says. Hurley says, "What?" Arse says that he recognizes a clique when he sees one, since he teaches at a high school. And he goes off on how Hurley and company think that they're the only ones who do anything important, and that there are 40 other lostaways, and they're people too. Look, whatever. I think everybody knows that you can only focus on so many characters for a television show. This is why everybody on Beverly Hills 90210 always managed to be in the same classes all the time. Hurley says what I'm thinking when he says, "Ohhh-kay."
Inside the ship, Kate immediately starts trying to pry open the case with a pickaxe, for god's sake. She's stopped by Jack, who says they should take the box out in the open before they try to violently open the box of dangerous explosives. Kate tries to take the box, but Jack all manly is all "I got it."
Outside, Arse is still going on about the little Lost clique. And I'm sorry, I find it a lot more believable to assume that there is lots of interaction with the other lostaways, just that most of it happens off camera. I find that a lot more plausible than Arse's claim that Jin never brings fish for anyone else. Arse might want to consider that the other teachers didn't want him sitting with them in the cafeteria not because of their own little cliques but because he's an annoying windbag. Of all the nagging problems with this show that could be addressed in a meta-rant like this, this is the one J.J. goes after? Oh, and this one too: "And some of us have actually lost weight while we're here. Now, you mind telling me where you're hiding the carbs?" And fortunately Arse stops mid-spaz to freak out at Jack and Locke carrying the dynamite out. Well, you wouldn't go in with them, what did you think they were going to do? He makes Locke and Jack put the box down gently, and has them step away from it. As he crouches by the crate, he asks if any of them know what happens to dynamite in ninety-plus degree heat. "It sweats nitroglycerin," he says, gently prying the lid from the box, and lifting it off. Jack comes forward, earning a quick rebuke from Arse. Jack steps back.
We get a little science lesson from Arse, who explains that dynamite is nitroglycerin stabilized by clay. He lifts out a stick, covered in crusty white stuff. He says it's the most dangerous and unstable explosive known to man, not to mention a handy boost on just about any car-racing videogame ever. He asks Kate for her shirt, which he needs to wrap the dynamite (not gratuitous cheesecake potential, although Kate is wearing a tank top; it seems to be because she's the only one wearing more than one layer). She obliges, and he soaks the shirt in muddy water as he lectures on about the man who invented nitroglycerin, who none of them have heard of because "he blew his frigging face off." Well, that could happen to anyone, Arse, who I can't believe isn't wearing a redshirt (and I can't believe I didn't peg him as a redshirt ages ago). He gingerly wraps the dynamite and continues the story about the inventor's assistant coming in to find his mentor detonated, and said, "I guess this stuff does work."
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