Episode Report Card Erin: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT How To Avoid Expensive Pedicures
By Erin | Season 2 | Episode 2 | Aired on 09.30.2007
Guatemala. Again. Some more. Maya's lying in bed, not sleeping. Some creepy-ass woman totally sticks her nose in their business and says that Alejandro watches over Maya. She also drives home the point that they're twins, in case we haven't figured that one out yet. Alejandro lets spill that they're going to America to get Maya medical help, because she's sick. Nosy Parkermundo takes this as an opportunity to offer her services as a healer. Maya's not into this idea, but the woman insists, and takes Maya's hands in hers. Right away, something's wrong, because Nosy Parkermundo starts muttering and fretting and saying things like, "You fear...yourself" and "What you carry inside you is black." She rips her hands away from Maya's and says that no one can cure her because she's cursed. Nosy Parkermundo grabs her family members and gets the hell out of there, saying that there's no way they'll cross with the Twins of Blackness.
Japan. 1671. The swordsmith's daughter is fighting a losing battle against a shitload of samurai thugs. She's making a valiant effort, but she's outnumbered like twenty to one, and the lead thug just wants her dead. All hope looks lost until Hiro suddenly appears, dressed as Kensei, and demands that they leave her the hell alone. The samurai all ready their swords, but Hiro declares that he is the greatest swordsman Japan has ever seen. The head thug is all, "How the hell can you declare yourself a great swordsman if you don't even have a dang sword?" Hiro says he doesn't need a sword if he has all of theirs. And then he blinks his eyes and, instantly, the swords all disappear from their hands and reappear stabbed into the ground directly in front of Hiro. The thugs are stunned, but the head thug just tells his men to grab their bows and arrows and have at it. "I wouldn't do that!" chides Hiro. Sure enough, before they can release their arrows, Hiro nabs their gear and laughs at them. All the thugs freak out and start to run away as Hiro and the daughter chase them off. Hiro goes to get his horse, and the daughter stops him and wishes him good fortune. He rather eloquently invites her up onto his horse, and manages to lift her up onto it with one hand. They ride off into the distance.
Tam O' Shanter Pub. Peter's quietly trying to get out of his bonds. Through the door, he can see Caitlin and her brother talking about him. The brother seems to be leaving, and warns her that if Peter makes a single move, she can shoot him. "What am I, twelve?" she snits. "Always," he snits back. She slaps his chest, and it's pretty clear that Caitlin can reasonably handle herself. The Shamrock Boys leave, giving Peter a chance to concentrate fully on getting himself out of the ropes. He grunts and struggles and closes his eyes until, finally, his wrists just...phase through the ropes. He looks at his hands in surprise, stunned that this has actually happened. Peter then gets up and runs over to a window, which is conveniently easy to climb through. He grabs a shirt off a shelf and puts it on DAMMIT. And thus ends the Shirtless Peter portion of this show. And now I'm bored.