Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Are You My Ally McMommy?
By Alex Richmond | Season 5 | Episode 11 | Aired on 02.03.2002
A bearded man testifies about Richard and John's client. It is a real neurological disorder to mistake people for inanimate objects, as described by Oliver Sacks, doctor. I remember the book The Man Who Mistook His Wife For a Hat. My mom has it. The disorder can't really be explained, though. Is this funny? Am I supposed to laugh that this man killed his wife because he suffers from a one-in-a-million disorder? No? Good.
Ally and Bonnie argue some more. Ally calls Bonnie "a struggling nightclub singer." Bonnie parries and thrusts: "And you're a lawyer!" Ooh, low but accurate blow. Bonnie meant that Ally works long hours. Ally says she can be home by six each night. Ally says she "is desperate to change her life," and that a "child should be with her mother, not her aunt." Bonnie hollers that "a genetic relationship does not a parent make." Ally says she didn't say that. Bonnie says she did so say that, too. Ally is "less informed," and "has no idea" what a child needs. Word, infinity. Ally says this all means something, and that Kid asked to live with Ally, and asked Ally "to take her." Oh my god, TAKE IT TO COURT, for Christ's sake. Isn't that what lawyers love? That, and to rant about the constitution?
Cage & Fish. John argues that Richard shouldn't close, because Richard stinks. He stammers and stutters and says this is hard for him to say. Richard asks, "You're gay?" John is not gay. He thinks Richard "has no business being in a courtroom," and is "a joke" as a litigator. Richard says John is threatened by the idea that Richard could be good at what John does, and that he'll do the closing. Nyah. John holds up the photo of the late wife with the soccer ball illustration and screams that Richard is "a lousy trial lawyer!" Richard is unchanged.
Ally and Bonnie, still in their morning clothes, sneak up to Kid's room, I guess, and eavesdrop on Kid and JBJ. They're playing Monopoly. First thing in the morning. Or maybe they just played all night? What is JBJ doing there? Does he live there now? And, are he and Ally doing it? Why isn't he fixing Ally's "corroded pipes"? What is she paying him for? Anyhoo, Kid says she and Bonnie used to be best friends, but now it's less fun to hang out. JBJ says that parenting requires discipline. Kid says she hears Bonnie crying at night. JBJ says that's when adults cry -- at night. Oh, is that when you cry, JBJ? At night, when you watch this bad show you're on? Squeeze out a few tears for me, JBJ. C'mon. Cry. Cry! Kid -- who has such great, self-sacrificing emotional maturity she should be canonized -- says she wants Bonnie "to have the life she wants, the life she planned." Thus, Kid should live with Ally. JBJ says, "Look at me, honey. You really want to live with Ally?" Kid says she "has a good feeling about" Ally, and that Ally "wants [her]." Kid is the only person alive who ever had a good feeling about Ally. The oboe plays sadly, and Ally looks serious.