Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Are You My Ally McMommy?
By Alex Richmond | Season 5 | Episode 11 | Aired on 02.03.2002
Richard and John are hearing a witness on the stand -- a woman who says she saw their client kick his wife "right in the head." When Richard questions her, he asks if the guy kicked her head "like he would kick...A SOCCER BALL?" Witness says yes. Richard goes to sit down. Then John pops up to ask more questions. Was the man very upset? Despondent? He was. Richard follows John, agog that he would dare to question the witness after Richard established that his client kicked his wife's head "like a soccer ball." John turns, and he and Richard are standing nose to nose. John's nose whistles. Ba dump bump.
In a closed room, Richard and John argue the case. The client leans on John heavily, as though he were a shelf. John thinks they should plead the case out; Richard thinks they can win because the jury will think the client is nuts: "He thought his wife was a soccer ball!" The violins pluck in amusement. Me, not so much.
Ally's office. Ally and Bonnie sit down for a chat. Where's the Kid -- off eating poison somewhere? Oh, who cares. Bonnie was a lawyer for two years, then quit; she was a failed blues singer, and now sings "jingles," by which she means theme songs to television shows. Gilligan's Island and the like. Now she gets booked. Hmm. Is this Vonda's story? Does anyone care? Moving on, then. And Kid's dad was "a great man." But enough about him. Bonnie is Kid's "only family, unless you include genetically." Bonnie says Ally can call the shots, and asks what she wants to do. Ally asks for a sleepover. And points out that Kid wanted to live with her. Bonnie says yes to the sleepover, then seems not to be into the living-with idea. "[Kid is] very manipulative. She's...kids." Ally fiddles with her chin and looks...I can't tell. Concerned? Like she wants to steal the Kid away? Hungry? That she hates DEK? No, that's me.
Kid bursts into Ally's office. She excitedly says that "there's a bar downstairs," with a "stage" and "music," and she got Bonnie "booked....Tonight. Elaine helped." Elaine is all, "I should have checked first," but if Bonnie can't do it, she'll fill in. Kid says that if this show goes well, Bonnie can get bookings in Boston, and then Kid can see Ally "like, all the time!" Ally hides her mouth behind her hand. Bonnie asks if Kid said she wanted to live with Ally. Kid says it was a "test." And she wants to stay the night to get to know Ally better. Ally says Bonnie will do the gig. "Why not?" Bonnie laughs, tickled.
John and Richard are in a conference room. John says he is "stressed, maybe in light of world events, but if you introduce that...it will push my stress to the breaking point!" "That" is a photo of the client's wife with the outline of a soccer ball over her face. The client walks in, says that when he sees his wife's picture he can't believe she's gone, then sits on John. John is all, "Heee-eey!" Client says he didn't see him there. And why can't they introduce the picture? It's just a picture. He doesn't notice the soccer ball drawing. He can't see it. The music gets mischievous.