Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Reality Bites
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 13 | Aired on 07.22.1999
In the temple, Tuzak's laid out to rest, or whatever, and Zhaan's doing the same by lounging with her head on his legs. Well, it's not like he's in a position to mind. Crichton appears, apparently having gotten away from "Alex," and Zhaan tells him she plans to join in Unity with Tahleen once again. Crichton calls her out, saying she's going to try to kill Tahleen. Zhaan: "You were always the most clever one on Moya." She must be feeling some really dark impulses to be able to make fun of him like that. Crichton gets nowhere with Zhaan, so he leaves...
... and then "Alex" finds him at the Sanctity Root and asks him why Zhaan's so important to him. If the deceitful Delvians were cleverer, they'd give him some false memories to make Zhaan look bad. Like, for example, cutting off one of their shipmate's arms, or perhaps murdering her lover. Speaking of which, I don't really understand why Zhaan was so anxious to get home to Delvia as to cut off Pilot's arm if Delvia is currently lousy with Peacekeepers. Anyway, Hasko's pissy queening has apparently finally gotten through to Lorana, as "Alex" confesses that she's simply a figment of Crichton's imagination. Crichton's head is so screwy that he doesn't believe her, so "Alex" morphs into Lorana as she tells him, "I release you from what is not true." Some part of Crichton has to be wondering if that means there really aren't any anthropomorphic Muppets. Lorana abjectly apologizes for all the deception, and adds: "Whilst in your mind, you have showed me the ember of my own virtue." Some sentences are hard to take at face value. She goes on that if Crichton is willing to take the risk, he may similarly be able to show Zhaan her goodness.
On Moya, Hasko is telling the crew that he lifted the spell, but they can't come down to the temple because of the delicate balance therein, or something. D'Argo, no strong believer in delicacy at the best of times, allows Hasko two arns. That's two more than I would have expected, but that might be because I have no idea what the hell an "arn" even is. (I don't need to say it, do I?)
Lorana and her newfound conscience go to see Tahleen, who scornfully tells her she was "easy and pleasurable." I've been called worse. Lorana considers a moment, and then informs Tahleen that Crichton and Zhaan have fled to the surface in an attempt to return to Moya. Tahleen buys this and rushes off, leaving Lorana to look pleased with herself.
Zhaan heads to the appointed place to see Tahleen, only to find Crichton there instead, who informs her he'll be taking Tahleen's place in the ritual. Zhaan thinks Unity will kill him, but Crichton tells her he understands that if she chooses to protect him, he'll survive. Zhaan starts to move away, but Crichton clucks at her, and when she turns back, he asks, "Your translator microbes handle that one?" Heh. Zhaan replies: "I must admit, I have always wondered what could possibly go on in there." She's thinking pretty clearly for a madwoman. Crichton does pretty well with his comeback of "Not a lot. I'm a guy." Anyway, soon their heads are each other's hands...