Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Reality Bites
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 13 | Aired on 07.22.1999
Inside the ship, Tahleen welcomes them to the "New Moon of Delvia," their "modest temple to the goddess of spiritual renewal." Crichton looks down the back of Aeryn's pants and is dismayed to see she has a weapon with her, which is apparently strictly verboten. I think he's just worried she's accidentally going to blow a hole in his precious designer underwear. Tahleen graciously says she heard they were low on supplies, and introduces another female Delvian, "Lorana," whom she says will show Crichton to their food source. As they take in the temple, which has a shallow little pool in the center, Crichton whispers that it's so perfect, his teeth ache. Aeryn hisses, "That's from all the sincerity." Hee. Looks like Aeryn's sarcasm detector is coming along. A few episode ago, she probably would just have stuck a dentic in his mouth, not that that wouldn't have been hilarious as well. Elsewhere, Zhaan, still not ready to let it go, asks why Tahleen lured them there. Tahleen says she already knows, but Zhaan denies that. "What I do know is you invaded my soul last night and you left me bitter." This brand of sincerity feels a little different. Tahleen notes that her friends were happy with their "remembrances," the implication being that whatever made Zhaan bitter was a memory of hers as well. Also, I don't know how thrilled Crichton was to get dumped, but maybe they had some mind-blowing goodbye sex that we didn't get to see.
Back at the little pool, Crichton pulls something out that he says is "part plant, part animal." It looks like all plant to me, specifically the rubber plant, but I'm not the props guy here. Anyway, Aeryn is unimpressed with the food source and even more so with the place in general, what with all the peace and serenity. "It amazes me how people mistake theosophy for superiority." God, I love her. Crichton goes off on one of his "the universe is an endlessly fascinating treasure trove" speeches, and despite Aeryn's nature, it's clear that she's learned a thing or two about patience if she can sit through Crichton's recitation of "Ode on a Squid Calamari Cucumber." Crichton babbles on about how great the ship is, unaware that Tahleen and Zhaan are now watching them. Zhaan says she can't help Tahleen, so Tahleen asks her for the power to help themselves. Zhaan asks when the "madness" started, and Tahleen replies that it was recent, "but already Pa'u Tuzak is beyond redemption." The point of this conversation is that Tahleen knows that Zhaan beat her dark side. "So how does the pious Zhaan coexist with all that rage?" Zhaan does not say, "By cutting the arms off my shipmates whenever I get a chance." I'd think I need to let this go, if it hadn't happened only THREE EPISODES AGO. Tahleen asks Zhaan to save her, and in return, "I will show you paths to abilities beyond your comprehension." Nothing could go wrong with that plan. Tahleen sees Crichton pulling out still another squalamucumber, and closes her eyes, sending Crichton into a memory...