Episode Report Card Potes: A | 14 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT All Work and No Play Makes Joe a Dullard
By Potes | Season 5 | Episode 7 | Aired on 07.14.2013
Richie and Kathy are also packing, and when Richie expresses skepticism as to what this whole thing is about, Kathy says that they'll be there as a calming force. Because you know how calm things have been between Teresa and Kathy historically. Richie hopes that they've packed booze for the trip. I know I have! The Gorgas and Wakiles are apparently car pooling to the Adirondikes, in some sort of party bus. So, this will all end quite well, I am certain. Richie is doubtful that the trip will make any difference, saying that he's never heard Teresa admit to anything she's done wrong. He adds that he doesn't think she can even spell "retreat." At least she knows what it means, unlike some other people who are attending. Rosie is on the party bus, and thinks that the addition of some outside experts will be helpful. Because when it's just the family, there is basically a round of "Go scratch," then screaming.
The relationship expert that Teresa is bringing in is apparently named "Dr. V.," whom Melissa renames as, "Dr. Va-jay-jay." Rosie is not thrilled at how everyone is mocking the idea of the retreat, and says that they need to open up their minds and their hearts. Despite the bruised knuckles, she really is a softy. Richie says that the Manzos and Lauritas gave Teresa a pass by not coming, since they've been on the receiving end of Teresa's nasty comments about Melissa and Kathy. And then Joe starts talking about how Juicy is a fake, and we see captions of whispered remarks (by Melissa) to the effect of, "He doesn't love her. He's a cheater. He's an asshole. So he doesn't give a fuck what she does." She thinks that Teresa wants what Melissa has in her marriage, which actually may be true in a Flowers in the Attic kind of way. Rosie, the kindest one in the bus by 100,000%, says not to talk too much about their marriage, giving an opening for Richie to say that they don't have a goddamn marriage.
Meanwhile, Teresa and Juicy are driven to the Adirondikes in some sort of SUV. Teresa talks about the altercation she had with Jacqueline over the phone, which ended with Teresa daring her to come to the retreat. Juicy weighs in to say that Jacqueline is a whack job who texted him about how he and Chris could still be friends. What? Beefusses?
And then we are at Sun Castle Resort, commonly known as "The Overlook of the Adirondikes." As the Giudices approach, Juicy talks about how Joe's tanorexia has had an effect on his brain. He adds that he doesn't want to sit around listening to crap all day at the retreat. Maybe he can take a little break in Room 237. Juicy and Teresa are welcomed by innkeeper Scatman Crothers, and then Milania pops out of nowhere to wiggle her finger and growl, "Danny isn't here, Mrs. Torrence." Teresa hopes there are no ghosts in the hotel, since there's already a witch coming.