Episode Report Card Erin: C- | 2 USERS: D+ YOU GRADE IT Whirligig of Death and Destruction
By Erin | Season 4 | Episode 11 | Aired on 2005.03.16
Cliff and Syd exchange some words in French, and they mercifully spare us more of their atrocious language skills and start talking to each other in English. I have no idea, really, the specifics of what they discuss because The Nose keeps distracting me. It's so large that I'm fairly certain it can be seen from space. Aliens the universe over are just hanging out on their levitating balconies, looking in their space-scopes and going, "Beeeezeldeet! Kroog ma feetoh!" (Translation: "Holy shit! Look at the size of that schnozz!") I'm surprised Syd doesn't drink her martini with it, it's that enormous. Suffice it to say, Cliff has something to sell and The Nose is supposed to buy it. As they're discussing the down payment or whatever, some random dude enters the restaurant and piques Vaughn's interest. He gets a shot of the guy with his cell phone, and Dix sends it through the system in search of a match.
While he's looking, Cliff asks The Nose what it plans to do with its new purchase. The Nose isn't really interested in answering Cliff's question because it's far too busy drinking out of a glass of red wine even though, just one second ago, it was snorting up a nice icy martini. Way to go, continuity. Of course, considering that this entire scene was actually shot for "Authorized Personnel Only," I wouldn't be surprised to see random shots of Nadia dancing the tango or Weiss stumbling through on his way to the bathroom or a wildebeest wearing a Marilyn Monroe wig and trailing a string of tin cans with "JUST MARRIED" spray-painted on its left flank. It's a mess, is all I'm saying.
So, yeah, whatever, Cliff shows Syd some chip he has and says that it's his "way out." Dix, meanwhile, isn't finding anything on the Random Dude at the back of the restaurant. Cliff tells Syd that, with this sale, he can buy a whole new life. Oh, well, he could have bought a whole new life if Random Dude hadn't up and shot him in the head. Random Dude shoots at Vaughn and Syd, grabs the chip, and then runs off into the kitchen. Vaughn gets him in the shoulder and he goes down. Vaughn and Syd run into the kitchen with their guns pointed. Random Dude just blabbles something about how "he" won't get him or his family and how he's not gonna be made an example of and then he grabs a butcher knife and Syd, instead of shooting his hand or something, just gasps, "Put down the knife." Yeah. Because guns aren't USEFUL in situations like this, SYDNEY. Random Dude slices his own throat, and Syd and her horrifically large proboscis look disgusted. Or disgusting. One or the other.