Episode Report Card Couch Baron: A | 7 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT So Bye, Bye, Miss Lillian Kane...
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.09.2005
Inside, Veronica and Lianne are chopping vegetables for dinner. Each has a spoon in her mouth, which Lianne claims prevents tears. I would have thought the ironic reminder of the fact Veronica's not one of the many kids in Neptune who was sucking on that particular piece of cutlery from birth might be a cause of woe. But hey, I'm not much of a cook. Anyway, Lianne directs Keith to put on the radio and, when he complies, objects to the genre, since they're making tacos. Veronica laughs at her mother's need to have the music match the meal, but Lianne says she's setting a mood. It would have been cool if Keith had accidentally turned on "Margaritaville," but after last week's incest revelation, perhaps they're all out of Un! Comfortable!. Lianne then says that the music they're listening to is for spaghetti Bolognese and a nice Chianti. She follows up, "Um...sans the chianti," demonstrating that while the Un! Comfortable! may be in short supply, there's still plenty of awkward to go around. They all talk about music for different meals. Keith gets in on the act, and Lianne raises her water bottle in his direction. I'd make a comment about its being bad luck to toast with water, except I've seen the episode, and I'd have to admit that Lianne is a couple steps ahead of me. In more than one sense, given that it's before 5 PM where I am right now. Keith puts on a speedy version of "La Bamba," which everyone says is perfect. You all that have been here from the beginning probably don't need me to point out the crashing and burning foreshadowing.
Mars Investigations. Keith takes forever and a day to open the envelope. He looks at the results, but Cliff's voice cuts in, "Tell me this is a joke." If you mean that we have to wait even longer to settle the question of Veronica's parentage, I'm afraid I can't. Cliff clarifies that Keith wants to sue the Kanes, and Keith confirms that. Cliff: "Please tell me there's another Kane family in town. Maybe a Boris and Gilda Kane?" No, but think how much more fun it would be if those were the Kane parents' names! Jake could twirl a cartoon mustache and pursue misadventures involving a moose and a squirrel, and Celeste could touch our hearts with wacky sketch comedy before dying tragically of ovarian cancer. Fun for everyone! Keith assures Cliff that the Kanes will settle. Cliff is unconvinced, but asks, "Anything you need me to have notarized?" Yes, a statement from you that you will be back next season. I mean it.