Episode Report Card Pamie: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Who Wrote the Book of Love?
By Pamie | Season 4 | Episode 20 | Aired on 05.03.2004
Dragonfly. Michel sits on the floor in his suit, checking messages. He asks Lorelai if this is her crazy voice on the answering machine (no voicemail in Stars Hollow), and then complains that she left twenty-five messages, all of which he had to write down. Lorelai takes the messages from him. "Every day that you breathe you make my life harder," Michel complains. He whines that he wants his desk, and that conducting business on the floor isn't funny anymore. He rants until Luke enters with a "Hey." He walks over to Grumpy Tom and compliments the staircase. Tom tells Luke he doesn't want any kibitzing over the staircase. Lorelai asks Luke if he wants to see the pretty stove. She says they're thinking about ordering out for food so they never have to use the pretty, pretty stove.
Luke and Lorelai enter the kitchen, where Sookie and some guy are badly ad-libbing having a conversation. Sookie applauds, goes, "Oh!," and says she's been looking for Lorelai. Then she quickly says, "Hi, Luke" without really looking at him, like she's mad at him or something. It's weird. Luke compliments the kitchen and asks if they used the original tiles. Sookie gives a very pissy "I don't know. Ask Tom." Sookie introduces Lorelai to the man she's talking to. His name is Shel Sauceman. Sheldon Sauceman? Shel's all, "It is really nice to meet you!" Sookie says he's going to be the new poultry supplier. He's also recently divorced. Oh, I guess Sookie was being short with Luke because she knows that Lorelai and Luke are supposed to be together, and Sookie, for some reason, wants Lorelai to be with this Shel guy who's recently divorced because he's clearly gay. Lorelai makes a joke that Shel appreciates. "You're funny!" he says. "She's funny." Then: "You know, they say pretty women usually aren't funny because they never had to be. Were you a fat child?" I'm positive Amy Sherman-Palladino had someone ask her this question in real life, because I've heard similar statements all the time concerning women and when they can be funny. Some men don't find women funny unless they don't find them pretty, and then they're able to be comfortable enough around them that they can recognize a sense of humor. A girl who is one of the guys can be funny, but if a pretty girl is cracking jokes, they may be at your expense, or she might even be -- gasp! -- smarter than the guys.
Sookie and Lorelai briefly argue about who gets to go talk to Michel about tablecloths, and then Sookie skips out of there. Lorelai grabs Shel's hand and drags him over to Luke, where she curls herself around Luke's body and introduces him as her Luke. Her "special friend." Lorelai grunts a bit as she moves Luke's G.I. Joe-stiff arm around her waist. She coos to Luke, saying she couldn't have gotten through this without him, and then thanks him. I can't believe the WB promo department didn't pounce on this scene and use it for fifty misleading commercials all season. Shel excuses himself and leaves. Lorelai immediately tells Luke not to touch her stomach. "You put my hand there," he says. Lorelai can't believe Sookie tried to set her up with Shel the poultry guy when she just broke up with someone. Lorelai thinks she's breaking news to Luke that she was dating someone, but Luke figured she had someone, since she was never dressed weather-appropriately. Hee. Lorelai tells Luke about the cats and how she's destined to be alone. Luke says she's not alone; she has Shel. Lorelai asks why it's so hard. Luke says he's probably not the right person to ask. "At least you got married," Lorelai says. "At least you had a kid," Luke counters. Lorelai says she gets sad sometimes. She asks if he gets sad about it. "Maybe," Luke says. Lorelai predicts Dr. Phil books in their future. Luke says that probably won't happen unless they stock them at Home Depot. Please don't give Dr. Phil any ideas. I can just see Dr. Phil lumber. "Y'all know your house won't stand without the correct foundation, right? With Dr. Phil lumber, your house has reinforced walls, so you can take down the ones around your heart. Okay? You can demo the walls around your heart. That's what I want you to do. I want you to take down...the wall around your heart. You can't fish with a cucumber and you can't love with a pencil. But make sure you have a pencil with Dr. Phil's lumber because as we say around here at Home Depot: In life you measure twice, cut once, okay?" ["First you dis oatmeal, then Dr. Phil. It's like you're trying to hurt me." -- Wing Chun] Luke tells Lorelai that the place is great. Lorelai asks Luke again if he thinks she can do this. Luke says he's already told her many times that she can. Lorelai says he's making her long for Shel. Luke says she was never one for chicken. And then the scene's kind of over, but not so we hear Asher Fleming teaching his class and then we're--