Episode Report Card Monty Ashley: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Return of Francisco
By Monty Ashley | Season 5 | Episode 6 | Aired on 03.12.2009
In the panic to get everything plated, J refers to himself in the third person again, and Lacey falls down. Ben: "All I gotta say, gentlemen, is Hava Nagila." Shut up, Ben.
Both teams claim to be happy with the dishes, and then bring in the bar mitzvah boy, Max, to do the judging. That seems reasonable. First: Andrea and Giovanni have chicken soup. Andrea has a strained analogy about her spring chicken soup symbolizing Max's ascent into manhood. Max's grandmother seems to really like the red team's chicken soup, but Max feels that his friends would prefer the blue version.
Ben smugly interviews about how great his brisket is. LA's has a cherry barbecue glaze, and Max picks the red team's. Not that I'm implying anything, but have you ever noticed that every single time there's a three-part challenge, the first two parts are always won by different teams? Anyway, Ben gasses on some more about how he figured that he'd automatically win the challenge due to his Jewishness.
Burgers: Carol vs. Robert. Carol interviews that she felt that Robert's burger looked burnt and greasy. Robert tells Max that he's becoming a man and deserves a man-sized burger, and Giovanni interviews, basically, that Robert is fat and therefore good at hamburgers. Carol explains that her burger involves a trio of lamb, veal, and Kobe beef, and mixed in bleu cheese, and so on. My worries about the cheese appear to be unfounded as everyone digs in. Max can't decide right away, and we see Carol and Robert telling them in detail why their dishes are better, invoking symbolism, sun-dried tomatoes, and aioli. After a commercial, Max finally picks the blue team, saying that the bleu cheese was not that great. Robert celebrates.
Chef Ramsay says that he has "arranged something unique" for the blue team: they're going to a spa to relax. Well, that's not really all that unique. Lots of people do it. It's not even the first spa-based reward this season. It is the (mostly) men's team going to the spa this time. Danny tells us that he ain't never been to no spa.
The cheese controversy continues, and Chef Ramsay tells the red team they'll be getting the dining room ready for the bar mitzvah. And Max's grandmother introduces Jean-Philippe to the person he'll be working with: a man who appears to be wearing a velour jacket and says "Bonjour, darling!" It's Francisco the Extremely Gay Party Planner from last season, and JP is not thrilled to see him. They have an obviously staged confrontation and Francisco is let loose on the contestants. The word "fabulous" is used many times, but I have seen every episode of RuPaul's Drag Race, and I am here to tell you: Francisco has a long way to go. LA: "I'm gay. That dude is parade gay." Seriously. I also recap Ugly Betty, and Francisco is flouncier than Suzuki St. Pierre and Marc St. James rolled into one.