Episode Report Card Pamie: C+ | 1 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Thanks, But No Thanks
By Pamie | Season 3 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.25.2002
Lane walks up and says hello. Before Rory can ask what Dave's doing there, Lane pushes the girls one foot north, into the sound-proof barrier of one foot north. She says that he's not the Dave Rygalski she's in a band with, but rather the Dave Rygalski who wrote an ad at her church looking for guitar gigs, playing Christian music. Lane admits that she made the ad and then pretended to find it later. Lorelai asks if they're dating. Lane says they're laying the groundwork. She says that if MamaLane gets to know Dave before they date and she approves, she could date him without all of the secrets and lies, except for who he is, where they met, and how she knows him. MamaLane is cursing out a cousin, who's leaning back in his antique chair. MamaLane tells the kid that if he breaks it, he buys it, and there's only a 10% discount for relatives like him.
Lorelai goes through the room, saying hello to every relative, remembering all of their names, acting like they're all old friends, even though not one of them stands to hug Lorelai or acknowledge her presence. Everyone just sits facing forward, food in lap or Bible in hand, looking up at Lorelai in a way that it seems she's just walking around making up names. "Foo Kim, hi. Song Li, hello." She compliments MamaLane on her buffet table. MamaLane tells Lorelai to try the Tofurkey. There's no option but the Tofurkey, so they grab a few...chunks. MamaLane introduces Dave as a big fan of the Tofurkey. Dave, Lorelai, and Rory pretend to introduce themselves. MamaLane requests Hymn 17. After he walks away with a "Yes, Ma'am," Lorelai notes to MamaLane that he seems like a nice boy. MamaLane says he's not a bad sight-reader, either. Rory can't believe that Lorelai's taking some of the Tofurkey. Lorelai says she's also grabbing a handful of napkins to dispose of the Tofurkey later. Rory compliments Lorelai's cunning ways.
Lane asks MamaLane if they should take a break from the hymns while they're eating. MamaLane says that Dave should play quietly in the background, but that they won't sing. After all, she's paying him to play, not to sit around. Dave quietly begins to play, "The Man Who Sold the World" and MamaLane stops in her tracks. Dave breaks into hymn strumming and gives a look to the blushing, smitten Lane. Lorelai and Rory watch from the side, approving.
On their way to Sookie's, Lorelai is pretty sick from the Tofurkey. Rory asks if Lorelai feels "Tofurkier." She can't believe that MamaLane watched her like a hawk, and she never got a chance to dump the Tofurkey. Okay, I don't really get this, but I guess Jackson's got some white-trash roots, and all of these people have skipped spending Thanksgiving with their own families and want to get drunk and rowdy on the front lawn of Sookie's house instead. Also, Jackson's deep-frying the turkey, something that's making Sookie incredibly upset. She thought that when Jackson asked if he could make the turkey, he'd make a simple roast, and she'd go in there in the middle of cooking and give it an herb rub and pancetta-chestnut stuffing. I also don't understand why Lorelai and Rory wouldn't have heard about deep-fried turkey before, nor how they wouldn't be totally stoked to try it, since it's supposed to taste like the best fried chicken ever. Sookie says you can deep-fry fish, fries, and even a donut, but not a turkey. Those of you in Los Angeles, make sure you go to Lulu's Blue Plate Special on Sawtelle and eat the deep-fried Twinkie. Good Lord, is that ever delicious. Recently, a few friends and I had a long debate about what couldn't be deep-fried. The only thing we could come up with? Citrus. And even sweet-and-sour chicken has a citrus sauce, but I don't think a deep-fried orange would taste very good. I'm probably wrong. Everything's good deep-fried. Mmm. Deep-fried Twinkie. Mmm. Anyway, Jackson's dressed up in slaughterhouse finest, as well as a face-shield to keep himself from getting splattered in oil. The obnoxious party cheers like someone's doing a keg stand, and much to Sookie's dismay, begin a countdown as Jackson lowers the turkey into the oil. "He's shamelessly catering to his demographic," she moans. Once the turkey's in the vat, Sookie declares, "It's like a death in the family." Lorelai tells Sookie to look on the bright side: that this took her mind off the Inn. Sookie immediately worries that the turkey at the Inn might be deep-fried, or worse. Jackson walks over, bragging about how neat his turkey is and how it'll be done in forty minutes. Yesterday, when I went in to buy my turkey, the cashier tried to convince me to deep-fry the thing. Apparently, it costs a billion dollars to buy all the peanut oil needed to fry the thing correctly. I can't imagine how horribly messy I'd make my kitchen, not to mention the number of second-degree burns that would certainly cover my fingers. Also, I want my turkey to taste like turkey, and not fried chicken. Nor do I want that Ren Fairre experience in my home, with a big ol' turkey leg in my grip as I think about what I'm thankful for. I guess I'm just old-fashioned that way. Lorelai hands Sookie a beer. Sookie asks her to keep them coming.