Episode Report Card Pamie: C+ | 1 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Thanks, But No Thanks
By Pamie | Season 3 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.25.2002
Luke's. Lorelai walks in and shouts a hello to everyone. Babette and Morey are there, enjoying Luke's fine food. Rory hands Luke a bundle of flowers, which begins the longest debate in this show's history. Luke explains he doesn't have a vase and Lorelai says that every year they go through this argument that he doesn't need a vase but he should have one because every year they bring him flowers on Thanksgiving, even though he asks them every year not to. Who's the rude one? I do believe it's Lorelai again. Luke points out their table and leaves to get the food.
Kirk's at the counter. He's scratched on over 60% of his body. It seems that CatKirk really doesn't get along well with HumanKirk. "I’m so mad at that cat," Babette warbles from the back of the room. "Very uncool cat," Morey adds. Babette says she loves cats, but she loves Kirk too, on about a fifty-fifty level. "And that's a high compliment, my friend," she tells Kirk. Kirk says he tried to play with CatKirk (who he now knows is male; he got a peek) by rolling a ball of yarn over to the cat. CatKirk pulled the string taut between his paws and tried to garrote him with it. Rory asks how the cat can do that without opposable thumbs. "He's beyond them," Kirk explains. "And he's smart. He knows things. Sometimes before they happen." When I first got my last cat, for six months he repeatedly tried to kill me. He'd run full force from one end of the house and leap onto my head, kicking at my back and skull. One time I woke up to find him on my chest, his front paws digging into my larynx. He was trying to suffocate me. Another time I woke up to him trying to jam his head into my mouth. Trying to choke me. I once saw him inch a digital alarm clock over towards my bathtub. He wanted me dead for a while, until the week I was home with bronchitis, and the two of us were passed out on a couch for more than twelve hours in a row at a time. He got used to me, and liked how I shared my soup. Now we're best friends. I swear. What do you mean this show isn't about me? Don't you care? Anyway, Kirk had to Minority Report himself naked in the bathtub to keep the cat from attacking, but unlike most cats who are afraid of water, CatKirk appears to gain even stronger powers from it. That's how HumanKirk got so scratched up. Lorelai says it's good that Kirk's giving CatKirk some space. She tells him to enjoy his food. I thought he lived with his mother, who wouldn't let him have a cat. What does Mrs. Kirk think about CatKirk?