Episode Report Card Demian: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Enter The Stench
By Demian | Season 4 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.17.2001
Speaking of the nonexistent metaphysical realm, the camera cuts to a shot of thunderheads and proceeds to dive right into them. Below, we discover a sound stage that the folks on the boards so accurately described as a thirty-five-year-old relic from the original Star Trek series. There is an abundance of beige papier-mâché boulders with twigs and dried weeds popping out of them here and there. The drop cloth on the soundstage floor has been raked over with dirt and dead leaves. The diorama in the background is streaked with varying shades of brown. It's a low-tech nightmare, people. Gold-Tooth Charlie stands in the middle of all of this, strapped to a "tree." Not Cho circles him, taunting. Presently, we are introduced to a "swirling," "sucking" "vortex" in a "wall" that is identified as The Portal Into The Next Life. Gold-Tooth Charlie tells Not Cho that his soul will be dry-cleaned of all Eeevil should he pass through this Portal. "You can start life fresh." "Yeah," Not Cho shoots back, "as a tapeworm." Oh, so they're dragging karma through the mud along with everything else this evening. Just remember, Kern: Payback's a bitch. Not Cho reveals his dastardly plan. Now that he knows he can trap Phag's Pa in Limbo forever, he has taken it upon himself to rid the world of all "Zen masters." "All their wisdom and magic lost forever in Limbo. Now that's [Eeevil]," he sneers. Gold-Tooth Charlie changes the subject, wondering how Not Cho managed first to enter and then to escape the surrounding nonexistent metaphysical realm. Not Cho reminds him of the traveling-through-water thing and duhs something about clouds being nothing more than vast pools of wet stuff. He rises into the air, cutting the conversation short. He promises to find and kill Phag, then vanishes upwards into the mist.
Manor basement. Alyssa and Rose struggle to shut the rusted water valve. Accomplishing this, they natter about whether Alyssa can levitate in her current state. Alyssa is also revealed to be holding a Conspicuous Lollipop Of Contrivance. Rose orders Alyssa to lose the sucker and try levitating across the room. Alyssa leaps towards the punching bag and splatters to the cement flat on her ass. Comedy gold, people. Not. More blather about ensuring that Piper knows nothing of the switch, and then Rose announces she'll head to Master Kwan's den of herbs to pick up some more "powdered toadstool" so they can reverse the spell. She instructs Alyssa to remain in the basement to practice levitation until she returns.