Episode Report Card Sobell: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT He Sees Dead People
By Sobell | Season 4 | Episode 15 | Aired on 12.15.2008
Speaking of Scylla and the people who have it, it's time to see how Gretchen and Self are getting along, down by the pier. Answer: not well. It's evident Gretchen's given up making small talk and turned to other diversions, because she's ditched her usual neutral-face-strong-lipstick look for a smoky eye and nude lipstick. I'm not quite so fond of it, but then again, I'm not an eyeshadow person. She tells Don Self, "When the buyer gets here, why don't you let me do the talking?" "For what? I engineered this thing. I can handle my business," Don Self says, in a dazzling display of profound self-ignorance. Gretchen busts him on his nerves, and when Don says, "I always figured it would come down to a pile of bodies," she replies, "I never pegged you for a killer." He comes back with, "I never pegged you for a mom." For some bizarre reason that passes all human understanding, Gretchen interprets this as a chance to make a flirty move on Don, but he's like, "Oh, don't even try, sweetheart." Yeah, Gretchen, you're wasting your time -- you have neither the cloying stench of Mystic tan, nor the hideous French tips and hot-ironed hair of the guidette, so Don Self doesn't recognize you as mating material.
Back at St. Conspiracy's, the blonde doctor explains the purpose of the giant needles pointing at Michael's skull thusly: "Throughout the surgery, different portions of Michael's cerebral cortex will be stimulated, triggering the areas that control senses like hearing, smell, memory. It's why some people, before death, often think of [their life flashing before their eyes]. When oxygen is cut off from the brain, it kicks into overdrive, tapping into every source to continue operating the body. As a result, all the senses kick off at once. Everything you've ever known, felt, believed, it all passes in the blink of an eye."
And with the blink of Michael's eye, he's gone from the O.R. into a private dream world... set in his old cell at Fox River. The poor guy -- you'd think if his life was flashing before his eyes, he'd remember the parts he told Dr. Sara about, like traveling in Thailand and Mexico. Then he hears, "Hello, Michael." It's Westmoreland! The Silver Fox of season one is back... as Michael's spirit guide? What -- the actor who played Aldo Burrows was too busy to come back and act as Michael's father figure in the eldritch realms?
Anyway, Westmoreland's back, and he's holding Marilyn (awww!), and you can tell this is a figment of someone's imagination because Marilyn is so freakin' docile in Westmoreland's arms. Anyway, Westmoreland says, "The answer is no... you're wondering if you're dead, and the answer is no." Michael asks, "Then why am I here?' "That's a question we all need to find the answer to," Westmoreland says. I honestly hope that if I have a near-death experience, I get a spirit guide who doesn't amuse themselves by getting all trippy and metaphysical on me. Can I have Judge Judy? She seems like she's be straightforward. But so long as we're engaging in hallucinations, let's see what Mahone's staring at in Prison Break: 'Tis the Season...