Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: B- | 3 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT I Shot You To Protect You
By Cindy McLennan | Season 3 | Episode 16 | Aired on 03.15.2012
Back at the Grill, Damon and Stefan are playing darts and talking about today's murders. Damon says there's no way Meredith could be the killer, because she's a woman and wouldn't have what it takes to stab three grown men. YES, THIS IS THE SAME DAMON WHO HAS BEEN SUGGESTING ALL ALONG THAT MEREDITH IS THE KILLER. I like his haircut. I know that was a non-sequitur, but I'm tired of being annoyed. Besides, Rebekah saves the moment by stopping her tree investigation long enough to point out a woman certainly could kill a man with the proper motivation. She then mocks Stefan for being testy. Damon gives Stefan more crap about the bunny diet, and his self-righteousness. He then picks up Stefan's 1912 diary and, adopting a pompous voice, reads aloud.
Stefan's Diary: Dear Diary, Damon has lost his way. Though I have pulled my own life together, he continues to waste his.
Rebekah: I grab the diary from Damon and continue with this oh so dramatic reading.
Stefan's Diary: His bitterness consumes him. He is nothing but blackness and bile.
Rebekah: Ooh! Judge-y. Although honestly, Damon, you don't sound like you were much fun back then, either.
Damon: I wasn't. Let's have another flashback.
Mystic Falls, Night, 1912. Sage finds Damon feeding on some random woman. After he casts down his kill, Sage tells him he's doing it all wrong. Damon stiffly replies that he was hungry and now no longer is. Sage tells him women are for pleasure too, not just food.
Damon: I do not need a woman for pleasure. I am spoken for.
Recapper: Ha. By Katherine? You poor, delusional fool.
Sage: We are all spoken for, in some way, but what is being a vampire, if not relishing in the pleasure of it?
She leads him out of the woods and back to the boxing ring, where she points out the women in the room. There are the floozies whom Sage deems too hungry for attention, then turns his attention to the more buttoned up ladies like Mariana Lockwood and says those are the women who secretly crave seduction. She tells him to win them over and make them beg for it. If they don't, since he's a vampire he can just take it. So yes, we have a female vampire educating a male vampire on the art of raping the women he's eventually going to kill. I've gotta go throw up. Be right back.
Eventually, Sage settles on Samantha Gilbert. When she points her out to Damon, she says, "Her." Damon starts to approach Samantha. When he hesitates, Sage gives him the nod and a knowing look. And after a few moments of conversation, Damon changes his 48 year old decision to loathe his vampirism and his decision to remain faithful to Katherine. Ugh. Don't take that the wrong way. I don't think Damon should remain faithful to Kiki, but here's a man who has held a 48-year grudge against his beloved brother. He changes his life after a conversation? This is entirely too facile.