Episode Report Card Demian: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT This Show Blows, And I Want To Die
By Demian | Season 5 | Episode 17 | Aired on 04.05.2003
The gals plus Jimmy and the Dolt try to puzzle their collective way through a Big Bad Greg vanquishing strategy. However, the constant interruptions from Cyrano73 and The Doltine Cracker -- via Phoebe's Palm Pilot and the baby monitor, respectively -- combined with Piper's incessant bitching about P3 lead Jimmy The Runt to toss his tiny hands in the air in a fit of irritated exasperation. He yanks one of his nuggets from his trousers, and I'm sorry, but that looks just as filthy on the screen as it reads on the page. What in God's name were they thinking when they came up with this shit? Huh? Anyone? Please? Jesus Christ on a stick. Anyway, Jimmy makes with the "sláinte is táinte " nonsense, his magical trouser nugget streams through the air to Piper's head in a golden arc, that's even filthier than the last goddamned thing I typed, and the doorbell rings. Piper crosses to the foyer to find Pat Benatar and Neil Giraldo standing on the Manor's front porch.
A moment, please.
Pat Benatar RAWKS, and I say that with nary a shred of irony. Well, maybe a little shred of irony. Okay, a whole side of irony, but let's face it: If Pat Benatar agreed to appear on Charmed after the producers tried and failed to land Kelly frigging Osbourne for this episode, I think it's safe to assume we're talking about a gal who has a healthy appreciation of irony herself. I mean, this woman is responsible for the legendary cheesefest that is the "Shadows Of The Night" video, is she not? And she looks fabulous for a person who just turned fifty. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same for her husband. Dude needs to lay off the peroxide. Seriously. You know, I thought Neil Giraldo was the hottest thing in tight jeans back when I was in high school. Well, one of the hottest things in tight jeans. And speaking of high school, did you have a Benatar-alike at yours? Ours was named Gina. After graduation, she wanted to become a stewardess. She ended up a coke whore, but it's nice to have goals, don't you think?
Sorry. Episode. Right. Pat and Neil are so happy to have caught Piper at home. Their car broke down in the middle of Prescott Street, you see, and they need to use her phone to call the auto club. Would Piper mind? Are they kidding? Piper's peeing herself with joy.
Munchkinland. Big Bad Greg corners one of the wee ones, confirms that the leprechauns summoned a witch, offs the midget, and steals his shillelagh.