Episode Report Card Lady Lola: A- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Deena-mite!
By Lady Lola | Season 3 | Episode 1 | Aired on 01.06.2011
Later, Deena, The Situation, and Pauly are ready to go out while the others get cleaned up. Deena realizes she's missing her "Blast in a Glass" hat, so Sitch offers to "help her find it." Pauly thinks the "cowboy hat" is shorthand for "Deena's cuca." She takes him into her room, where she shows him an array of goofy straw hats. Sitch admits that Deena is awkwardly cute and thinks there might be a situation going on between them. She slurs that she looks better in the hat with only her bikini on, so she shimmies out of her cover-up, completely oblivious to the fact that she's also shimmying out of her bikini bottoms. Sitch watches with his jaw on the floor as she twirls around pantsless in front of him. As he ponders whether he should hook up with a roommate on the first night and risk monogamy, she finally realizes she's rockin' out with her cuca out. She puts her clothes back on, and Sitch promises her that it's just between the two of them.
So his next move, naturally, is to go tell everyone in the GD house what just happened, with a physical re-enactment. As always, classy. Despite her embarrassment, Deena still sits down on the couch and lays her legs across Sitch's lap. JWOWW sarcastically warns him that she will go to bed if she gets a first-person view of any boner action. A fair warning, considering filming a workout video is all it takes to give Ol' Sitchy wood.
Sitch heads up to his room to relay the story to SamRo 2.0, saying he doesn't even know if Deena is actually drunk. Ronnie says she's probably just stupid, which gets a cackle out of Sammi. Deena barges in and tries to cuddle with Sitch. He calls her annoying, eliciting more cackles from Sammi. Deena gets offended at Sammi's continued hostility. She tells her that she's joining everyone else in the house in having problems with Sammi, then marches out of the room and spits curses all the way down the stairs and into the kitchen. As she carries on her tirade, the others marvel that Deena brought out the C-word on the first night. The Situation nominates her for the Rookie of the Year award.
Sammi and Ronnie laugh it off, since Deena hasn't bothered to say any of it to their faces. But when Deena shit-talks Ronnie, things get real. He gorilla-stomps down the stairs and gives her the territorial "You're in my house" speech. He 'roid rages out on her for a while, and she gives as good as she gets. All the while, The Situation is freaking pissing his pants with glee as he gets to imitate Deena bitch-finger waving around the kitchen and her mutual declarations of hatred with Sammi and Ronnie. Sammi interviews that Deena's like a dirty Chihuahua that you want to set aside. Pauly joins in as the girls air their dumbass grievances with each other and bandy about the C-word some more for good measure.