Episode Report Card Lady Lola: A- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Deena-mite!
By Lady Lola | Season 3 | Episode 1 | Aired on 01.06.2011
Snooki finally gets fed up. She says Sammi has made a major mistake in messing with Deena because "even though we're tiny bitches, I don't give a shit, I will attack you like a fucking squirrel monkey!" She steps in and calls Sammi the biggest bitch she's ever met in her life and asks how she has friends. Around the fifth time she attacks Sammi for being a bitch, she adds in "slutty," which gets me to wondering when the term "slut" became an insult catch-all? Point of fact, Sammi is probably the least slutty girl in the house. Though getting persnickety with terminology on this show is as frustrating as herding cats, so why bother?
Sammi dredges up the past, calling Snooki a fake, backstabbing bitch. Pauly says he knew the drama between Sammi and the girls would come out eventually, but he didn't think things would come to a head on the first night. Sammi asks Ronnie to confirm that Snooki's fake, and he does dutifully. Snooki comes back that Ronnie's mom calls her every week to ask why Ronnie is with Sammi. Cut immediately to an interview where Snooki's all, "I may have made up a teeny-tiny fib..." Ha! She does note, though, that Ronnie doesn't fight back on that claim, implying that it's not all fabrication. He does eventually tell Snooki to pipe down because she's "a fucking loser from Poughkeepsie." That brings JWOWW into the fracas, who I believe calls Ronnie a faggot. Oh, WOWW, did you have to go there? There are so many other things you could say about Ronnie that are actual insults.
Sammi tells JWOWW she'll pound her ass if she keeps talking that way, so JWOWW steps up to her to regain the cred she lost during their altercation last season. She goads Sammi to punch her. Sammi rears back and lunges at her. Though she doesn't actually punch JWOWW, it incites a rain of fist fall. To be continued...
This season: Antics! Snooki drinks and sits in a mini-fridge! Deena falls head-first out of a hammock! Pauly repurposes the vuvuzela as a grenade whistle! Ronnie gets an anal probe! Vinny zooms around on a mini-motorcycle! Snooki asks for directions to the beach... that she is practically walking on! Fights! Tommy breaks up with JWOWW! Ronnie tells Sammi he's done for the 78 millionth time! And is consoled by JWOWW! And gets a punch in the face for it! Sammi leaves the Shore?! And Snooki gets arrested!
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