Episode Report Card Cate: D | 1 USERS: C YOU GRADE IT How do you solve a problem like Mary?
By Cate | Season 5 | Episode 7 | Aired on 11.12.2000
Upstairs in her room, Mary is packing when Lucy walks in. Mary tells her to get out, and Lucy gets all sucky again, begging Mary not to "leave like this." She claims she didn't know about the CamRents' plan to send Mary off to Buffalo, but that maybe the parents are more concerned with Mary's "safety" than her "happiness." This inspires Mary to scream at Lucy to "get out!" You know, for once, I can actually understand how Mary feels. Too bad it's about five minutes before her departure. She informs Lucy that yes, this is how she intends to say goodbye, and she warns her to keep the other loathsome siblings away from her too. Lucy just stands there, flaring her nostrils, until Mary picks up something to throw at her. Heh! That makes Lucy scurry off.
The CamRents are in their bedroom, still talking about why they're sending Mary off. Give it a rest already. I love it when RevCam says he'd rather have a daughter who's angry at her parents than dead. Yeah, I'm not sure what that's supposed to mean either. He reassures Annie that they are making the right decision. Annie wonders if it's wrong to push their "problems off on someone else." Well, probably, but then these people can't even cheer themselves up; they need the Hamiltons to do that for them. I wonder if all of next week's episode will consist of Eric and Annie reiterating this conversation some more. Mary interrupts their dull platitudes by screaming up that she will meet them in the car.
The rest of the losers are in the kitchen, finding it hard to believe that Mary is leaving without saying goodbye. Dopey calls her a "piece of work." Aw, how cute. I didn't realize he'd turned into an eighty-year-old man since we last saw him. The CamRents say goodbye to the kids and then leave to drive Mary to the airport. Dopey repeats that Mary is a real piece of work. Okay, Matt, use an archaic expression once and it's kind of cute. Use it again, especially in the same conversation, and people are just gonna think you're a freak. Lucy and Simon moan about how sad they are. Ruthie cheerfully asks if anyone wants cake. Dopey shrugs cheerfully and makes a dive for the free Camden food.
The CamRents are waiting with Mary until her flight departs. That's smart thinking, I suppose. Mary admits that they were right in assessing that she'd lost her way. She says, "I actually tried praying for some way to get out of the mess I was in. But if this is the answer to my prayers, then I am never praying about anything again." Annie looks distraught by this. Oh dear, what if Mary goes away and becomes an atheist or a vegetarian or -- God help us -- a lesbian? Annie tries to take part of the rap for sending Mary away, but Mary prefers to blame it all on Eric. There are lots of other things I wouldn't mind blaming on Eric. How about poverty and disease and global warming? Works for me. Mary deigns to hug Annie, but just stands there when Eric tries to hug her. Against my better judgment, I'm a little moved by Eric's pain. Mary turns and walks away woodenly. Or maybe she's "acting" -- it can be hard to tell sometimes. She leaves without turning around or saying goodbye. The CamRents use the time during that last shot of Mary to squeeze some glycerin drops into their eyes in preparation for tonight's big crying scene. At least SuperMom is taking a more proactive approach to cheering up RevCam. She parrots a bunch of his rationalizations for sending Mary away, as they clutch at each other's heads and make ample use of the glycerin.