Episode Report Card Cate: D | 1 USERS: C YOU GRADE IT How do you solve a problem like Mary?
By Cate | Season 5 | Episode 7 | Aired on 11.12.2000
Annie calls her father. In yet another misguided attempt at humour, the writers have Annie's dad make some stupid joke about Alzheimer's. And people write us hate mail?! Catherine Hicks just smiles wanly as if she's as annoyed by this as I am. He guesses that Annie is calling because she's worried about Mary. Gossip sure travels fast in 7th Heaven land. Annie asks if he's lent Mary any money, which he hasn't. He compounds my annoyance with this scene by referring to Mary as "Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary." My own nickname of choice would be "Mary, Mary, Rude, Ignorant Ho." Maybe we can all lobby the producers about that. Annie hangs up on her father in mid-sentence. Heh. Well, all right, that was kinda funny. Annie phones him back and he pretends to not remember talking to her before. That wasn't funny at all. Writers, please, if there are jokes to be made, leave them to Gwen and me, or the posters in our forum. That's my PSA for the day. Thank you. SuperMom wonders whether Frankie and Johnny could have given Mary the money, but RevCam thinks not. He says, "Nah, they can't afford it. Do you know what pot costs these days?" Well, no, I haven't smoked in a really long time, so I couldn't tell you exactly. But around here it was always pretty cheap. Oh, wait, that was a rhetorical question, right? That doesn't make it any less stupid, you know.
Annie calls Matt back and asks him if John might have lent Mary the money. Dopey is sure John wouldn't do a thing like that. Was I absent that day in Morals 101 where they taught us that lending or borrowing money was a big ol' sin? Because actually, I think it's pretty nice to help someone out with a loan if you can. Oh, I forgot, I'm not religious, and by basing my morals on how I would like to be treated myself, rather than on what RevCam tells me is right, I'm probably committing another big sin. Sob! It's all so confusing. My head hurts! Annie asks Dopey to harass John about Mary's financial situation and then hangs up on him rudely. Okay, now I know it's a shout-out to MBTV. Thanks! Oh, and Gwen would like to see Annie's sailor top again next week. Thanks again!
Ruthie comes downstairs and tells the CamRents that she was the one who lent Mary the money, except she tells them it was twenty bucks, which was pretty stupid, even for Ruthie. Now the CamRents are more suspicious than ever. Ruthie informs Lucy and Simon of what she has told the parents. Lucy starts to hyperventilate and screech something about the CamKids being "stupid" to think they could get away with this. She's always been my least-loathed Camden, but man, is she ever annoying in this episode. Simon reassures her that the CamRents won't figure out their big, bad secret.