Episode Report Card Pamie: B- | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Know When to Hold 'Em
By Pamie | Season 5 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.04.2004
Paris is smoking Asher's pipe, just to be able to smell like him again. Poor Paris. Rory sits and puts her arm around her friend.
Lorelai is practically skipping over to the gossip corner to hear what Miss Patty, Babette, and the other one have to say about her scandalous morning. But the ladies are chatting about some couple named Samson and Delilah, who got back together again this morning. Uh-huh. I know who they really mean. They're lowering the free parking at the drug store. Oh, come on, Lorelai. You don't know when they're talking code? "Lowering" the "free parking?" Get a clue, girl.
Dragonfly. Lorelai calls Luke to say that nobody knows. Luke says people might be trying to be respectful. Lorelai: "Babette? Miss Patty?" Luke says that maybe they're trying not to embarrass her. Lorelai: "Babette? Miss Patty?" Luke says nobody's mentioned it to him, but he doesn't know who would. Lorelai: "Babette? Miss Patty?" Luke brings up the novel concept that nobody cares. Lorelai wants everybody to care, since Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor couldn't even leave the house. Luke offers to get drunk if she gains five hundred pounds. They make plans for that night.
Emily's. She eats alone at the table, jazz blasting in the background. Emily's maid is actually named Madonna Louise. It's like this entire script was made on a dare. "I bet you can't get Paris to say 'vagina.' I bet you can't name someone after Madonna. I bet you can't get Luke and Lorelai to have sex without them actually ever really kissing." The maid comes in to clean Emily's plates. Emily tells Madonna Louise not to run the dishwasher, since it's not full yet. Like Emily's ever opened a dishwasher door in her life. She asks Madonna Louise what the funny smell is coming from the kitchen. Madonna Louise confesses that she sprayed for ants. Emily says that you're not supposed to spray; you kill the scout ants and they stop coming back. Yeah, I've had some serious scout ants that enter my house looking for cat puke and dead bugs. We tried wiping away the entire trail with wet napkins and then cleaning the floor and walls with disinfectant. I've put lines of cinnamon across the windowsills; the ants just make cookies. The only thing that has worked is spraying Raid everywhere I see the damn things because they appear to be living somewhere underneath the concrete steps outside and I don't know what else to do. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a not-quite-full dishwasher I have to run so that I have a clean plate to eat off of for dinner. Emily tells Madonna Louise that it was a lovely omelet, and Madonna Louise beams, as taken aback as we all are. Emily blows out the candles and leaves the room.