Episode Report Card Pamie: B- | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Know When to Hold 'Em
By Pamie | Season 5 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.04.2004
So now we're supposed to always recognize the newspaper stand as a hang-out, even though they only used it once to introduce the quickly-forgotten Bootsy, and once in the last episode. Anyway, this is where Miss Patty, Babette, and some other woman hang out and gossip. Their mission: make their shirts clash as loudly as possible. Lorelai picks up a paper and leans in for the scuttlebutt. Jerry Cutler's new wife, Annabelle, isn't twenty-four at all. She's thirty-six. Babette's happy that "Jerry the Moron" wound up with "a tramp who's actually older than the wife he dumped her for." Lorelai leaves, and the ladies go back to pick a little, talk a little, pick a little, talk a little, cheep cheep cheep, talk a lot, pick a little more.
Richard and Emily sit across from each other at their dining-room table, having their meeting. They divvy up bills and meetings, taking notes. Then there's the matter of the oil stain in the driveway from when Richard was working on his Cadillac. You'd think he'd have been more impressed with CuteDean when he made Rory that car. Emily can't stand to see the stain every day as she leaves for her vehicle. Richard is amazed that Emily can see the driveway with her nose way up in the air. He immediately apologizes for being so rude. Emily tells him to keep his cars in the garage. Richard says he'll park his cars anywhere he likes. Emily tells Richard to work on his cars at the filling station, since it's already filthy over there. Richard refuses to drive ten miles to work on his priceless antique cars next to a broken-down Chevy. "So this is the way it's going to be from now on?" he asks. Emily supposes it is. Richard says that the "filling station" will be fine. Antique cars and filling stations. Next thing you know they'll pull on a pair of dungarees.
Yale. Coffee kiosk. There's a giant group hug reunion going on behind Rory and Marty as Marty tells Rory that, over the summer, he learned that his Uncle Jerry was actually his father. He has taken the news surprisingly well. Marty asks Rory what she did over the summer. "We so should have started with me," she says, the Gilmore motto. Some douche totally bumps into Marty on purpose. Marty apologizes. "No, seriously, you couldn't see me there?" asks Douche One. These guys must have studied a few John Hughes movies before this scene, since one's dressed in a red sweater vest, an item that hasn't been worn by a "richie" or a "popular kid" since Ducky sang Otis. His name is Colin. Also these guys are all sort of British and kind of Australian, so that's off-putting. But he's not the leader of the group. They let you know that the blond is the leader because he's got a girl crunched under his arm. He recognizes Marty as the guy he hired to bartend a party over the summer. He informs Rory that Marty makes a mean margarita. Gay. What I wouldn't have known on my own is that I've recapped this blond before. He played Sean on Young Americans. I have to be careful not to tread over in those recaps, because I'll spend three hours remembering my life back in 2000, and how those eight recaps became a part of my life I'll never forget. Like delicious, refreshing, Coca-Cola. Head Douche asks Marty if he's still a broke-ass so that he can hire him for other parties. Marty is, and that's why he's living in the expensive Yale housing. Douche Colin then makes a crack about Marty's shirt. He who lives in sweater vests shouldn't throw...bobbins? Spools? Knitting needles? Huh. Head Douche tells Colin to stop being an ass. He says he's not an ass, since he's afraid of all people, both large and (he turns to look back at Marty before finishing) "very, very small." Whatever, dude. Go iron your pleats. Marty tells Rory he kind of hates those guys. Rory says she can't see why. She also didn't bother to say a damn word when people were assholes to her friend's face. I wish Rory would grow a spine. And use it to stand up straight. Girl's got an S-curve that makes me think she should see a doctor. Moths. "He who lives in sweater vests shouldn't throw moths." I'm awesome!