Episode Report Card Sara M: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Blah, Blah, Black Sheep
By Sara M | Season 8 | Episode 2 | Aired on 09.21.2003
In the backyard, Asslee is trying not to push Simon too hard by asking if she can still call him and see him and visit his family and stuff. Simon shakes his head no. Hooray! No more Asslee! My life just got a little bit better. Asslee doesn't understand why they can't be friends; after all, they were friends "before [they] got into this relationship." No, Asslee, you weren't. Remember? He was the "escort," you were the fool paying for his services? Simon says that he can't be anyone's friend right now. Asslee says she'll "miss [him] everywhere." Asslee walks out the gate, probably into some unfortunate Camden neighbor's back yard. I don't know if I can say enough about how bad an actress she is, or how she alone destroyed what could have been, in the hands of a more capable person, a good scene. So I won't.
Simon sulks on the park bench the Camdens, for some reason, have in their back yard. RevCam takes this as his cue to come out from behind the bush he was spying from and start talking about Mary. He hopes it's "not just her first marriage." What? Is he saying that he hopes that she'll get a divorce and go on to marry as many men as possible? Then he says that he hopes that Mary and Carlos will be happy "for the rest of their stupid lives." That's some great parenting, there. Eric says he was going to talk to Annie about Simon's future school plans, but he lost his nerve. I wonder how he manages to walk without possessing a spine. Eric continues that Simon can "test out" of school instead of transferring. What's wrong with transferring anyway? No one ever explained why changing schools was not a possibility for Simon or Justin. RevCam says that Simon can skip his senior year and attend a community college. Simon insults community college students everywhere by saying that he thinks he can do better than that. He wants to go to a "real" college. Oh, I guess that rules out Crawford Clown College. Indeed it does, as Simon says that his choice of a real college would be as far away as possible. RevCam doesn't understand why Simon wants to be away from his friends and family. Simon says that everyone's feeling sorry for him is driving him crazy and making things worse. He wants to go through the "process" of dealing with what happened on his own, and he doesn't want people around who will make it easier. RevCam shows that he hasn't been listening at all by saying that the process will be easier with friends and family around. Simon says he doesn't want it to be easy, then gets all profound and says that something has to come out of the accident, and he wants to figure out what that is. David Gallagher delivers his lines really well here, I think. RevCam says that maybe he can help, if Simon would let him. He does a little "you and me, together" motion with his fists as he speaks. How cheesy. "Surgeons shouldn't operate on their own families, Dad," Simon says. Too true. RevCam says that he and Annie aren't "ready" to "let" Simon leave. Simon says that he's ready, and when he eventually talks to Justin, he wants to have something to say besides "I'm sorry," and being with his family won't help him get ready for that. The only thing Simon knows right now is how sorry he is about running over PaulSmith. He's "so horribly sorry." RevCam has nothing to say to this, so he settles for hugging.